12-29-2006

The buttons for 2 and 0 on the numberpad on the right of my keyboard have got stuck together. I often spill coffee on this keyboard and it starts behaving in unexpected ways. Now if you press 2, 0 also gets pressed...and vice versa...most of the coffee spills on the numberpad coz I normally keep my coffee mug on the right, just near the mouse...and as I have my coffee...the cup goes ding-dong as it travels over the key-board to my mouth...

Thanks to the nice coffee machines at my company, I drink a lot of coffee all day...7-8 extra-large cups...Patiyala...When I drink something, I like them to be large drinks...coffee, daaroo, whatever...Quit Drinking (Daaroo) - My New Year Resolution!!! It has been one for the past few new-years, but this time I'll quit for sure ;-) It's different this time! 2007...2+7=9, 9th April my B'day...lucky year for me...Numerology rocks!

A guy has newly joined my company. He sits in the cubicle next to me. It's 2 weeks since he joined...Whole day he does bakwaas on fone...hifi Managerial stuff...resource allocation, employee motivation, task allocation, scheduling, logistics, estimations...But I must appreciate his diligence. On his very first day, he got all his basic fundas cleared. For example, I finished 2 years in this company day-before-yesterday, and I still don't know how to check my voice mail. I think there are hundreds like me in my company. But on his very first day, this guy finds out who's responsible for what, calls them up, asks them for all kinds of instructions, eats their heads...may have appeared stupid that day...but in the end, he knows how to check his voice mail. Voice mail is just an example. There are many other more important and interesting things that he figured out on his very first day.

He loves using words like bottleneck and bottomline which few software engineers can make sense of. And he has a very chaapu style of talking to ladies. All guys have a style of their own of talking to ladies...style in terms of way of talking, word usage, accent, voice modulation, topics of conversation...depending on what their concept of what females want is. This guy seems really impressive in that department.

Right now he is discussing an important issue with a project manager on fone...Of course I can hear only my neighbour's side of the conversation. And yaar, he is so loud, I cudn't help it...kaan mein ghus hee gaya sab kuch...aur sochne kee to purani beemari hai...

Let's call my neighbour as N...and the project manager will be PM.

The issue is that the PM does not want to take one particular girl in the new project that he's going to lead. The reason - she is too "chulbuli". He really used that word (N repeated it)! Can you believe it?

Now my champion N starts his Managergiri...and boss, he's too good at it...

Here he goes...

If you think she is not adequately motivated, I think it is our responsibility to motivate her. The major motivating factor for her is the possibility of an onsite assignment. If the person performs well we can always send him/her onsite. If it is a growing account there are always opportunities to leverage.

Onsite is only possible if the person meets the expectations of the manager. The person has to prove his potential to be considered for greater responsibilities like an Onsite opportunity which is also a reward for his/her work.

That girl is interested in .Net and VB. So .Net and VB are motivating factors. All is ok if you are basically agreeing to the idea of a trial.

What I want to ask you to do is, first u take an independent look on all these things...but keep in mind that we have every right to try a person for a month, and if the person is not delivering, then we can move the person out.
EXCELLENT!!!

Then N and PM discuss about the technical details of the new project.

N talks about the difference between C# and C++...JIT compilers...C++ compiles directly to machine code...said something about Borland C++, Turbo C++...mentioned MSIL...bahut kuch pata hai ise...stud banda hai...

Then some tips to PM on how to appear for the client interview:


Give them an assurance and confidence and show them the keenness to take challenges. Evaluate the technologies in parallel...u shud appear eager...raring to go and take on challenges. It's an interview, u have to sell u'rself to them...so don't speak casually. If u want to talk about motivation and bla bla bla, I can always do that. (He has a nice way of saying "bla bla bla"...very quick)

essentially u do more, u take more responsibility, u do better - u are always chosen for things...rule of life...
boss! this guy is amazing!!!

SaSaBaBa

Of all that I have ever heard about the Satya Sai Baba (SaSaBaBa) of Puttaparti, this one is the funniest...All the watches that he produces out of Air are "Made in Switzerland"...wow...so that's where he steals them from!!! matter-to-waves-and-back-to-matter...and nobody comes to know!!!

A lot of experiences, my sense of logic, and my own rationale for such things have thankfully turned me into an atheist. I don't deny the existence of a superpower...in fact, I am too ignorant, and so are all of us, of the reality...

But a Homosexual God who molests kids and produces watches of Swiss make by waving his hand in the air...that's too much to digest. ROTFL!!!

Was going through this article by Vir Sangvi on The Hindustan Times - The Truth About Sathya Sai Baba. It's a shame on mankind - the way these Babas are able to lure so many people. The confrontation of SaSaBaBa with PC Sorcar is very interesting. SaSaBaBa produces Sondesh, and Sorcar produces a Roshogulla in return...and SaSaBaBa is furious...

HEHEHEHE...Caught Behind!!!

And do u know, SaSaBaBa can predict the future! Wonder whether he knows that the world is going to end in 2012. Yes, that's true. According to the Mayan Calender. More on that some other time...

When I was in my 4th standard, I used to attend weekend-timepass classes called "Baal Vikaas". It was at one Aunty's house. 2 Didis use to come there and teach Satya Sai Baba's bhajans and slokas. One was Indira Didi, the other was...shaayad Pallavi...I don't remember. It used to be a one hour class on Saturdays at 3.00 PM. I attended it for almost a year. They used to teach some non-SaSaBaBa stuff too...like Saraswati, Ram, Hanuman, Good-Night, Good-Morning, before meals, before shower...slokas for everything. And some bhajans too, mostly non-SaSaBaBa...I used to sing well...

There were some games in the end (I once got a prize for coming first in the memory test)...followed by a story...Pallavi(shaayad) didi was good at story telling...all SaSaBaBa stories...

A nice prasaad was distributed in the end...along with Vibhooti (sacred ash). SaSaBaBa devotees have this weird and blind belief that SaSaBaBa Vibhooti can cure every disease...heal all wounds...if u have stomach pain, just eat some Vibhooti...if u've got any injury, apply this SaSaBaBa Vibhooti there...it'll be cured...

And you hear Sai Ram all the time. No Hi-Hellos...only Sai Ram Sai Ram Sai Ram...wishes, exclamations, gaalis...all Sai Ram.

we were once shown an album which had SaSaBaBa's fotos...all ages...at 14 (approx...memory not so sharp) SaSaBaBa left home and became baba! Very soon he got his patent hairstyle. Not sure who told him he is the reincarnation of Shiva, but he claims to be one.

The theory goes that Shiva had got a curse ( or vardaan?) that he'd be born thrice and do great deeds. The much reverred Shirdi Sai Baba was the first. SaSaBaBa is said to be the second by many. The third cud be me :-) I lost my hair. The chances are grim. A takla Sai Baba!!! May work!

One weekend at Baalvikas, we were asked to write letters addressed to SaSaBaBa. Anything. The Didis were going to Puttaparti to meet SaSaBaBa and to do some community service there. We were assured that those letters would be delivered to SaSaBaBa, and also that SaSaBaBa reads them...and the lucky kids get a reply - they told us. It sounded fishy to me...I did not know about pedophiles at that time...otherwise I cud have warned my fellow kids...may be that was the actual purpose of the BaalVikaas classes...to send good-quality kids to SaSaBaBa...Thank God I never got any offer for his Darshans. I was such a bright kid...there was huge risk...I realize now.

Well I did write him a letter...It was something like this:

Dear SaSaBaBa,

I don't have any faith in you. ("devotion" was the word I wanted to use...but inspite of thinking hard, I was not able to pull this word out of my mental depths so as to use it...strange, a lot of things are there inside our memories which we cannot recall) But people say you are God. Please show me some sign that will make me believe that you are one. I am waiting for your reply. If you are really God, then you can easily show me something...from wherever you are...

Sridhar

I never got any reply. That disappointed me. I quit BaalVikas. Soon most of my friends quit too. Anyway I had no Bhakti and all...we just went there for prasaad...and games...and prizes...I had one more reason...opportunities to sing in front of people...I was once a part of a group-song...sung in a function on the occasion of SaSaBaBa's B'day...we sang Sai Pancharatnam...Still remember a few lines...3 in fact -

Sauhadra varshaabhi raapoor yantam, smrite nola santam bhavantam muda
Dishaambhaasa yantam samaprema yantam tamonaasha yantam dharalambanam
Moham tada krodha kaumari sangham kshane dhwansa yantam cha sai shivam

Don't remember their meanings...the Didis had explained each word to us...Now when I read the lines above...I'm able to make sense of some of these words...they really seem to praise that guy heavily...I feel sorry for having sung all this like an idiot for that jerk...

I used to be such a God-fearing person when I was a kid. For all my decisions, I used to go and look at Gods' fotos and try to see a smile on their faces. If I could see a smile, I took that for an approval of my decision. I had one SaSaBaBa foto too. That was always smiling...always approved my decisions...hehe...I also used to pray a lot. 10 minutes of prayer in front of all major Gods before going to school...asking for a lot of things...full marks in all unit-tests, half yearly exams...and final exams...always a first rank...happiness for mummy, daddy, sister, brother...and asking god 4 times to give me all that...3, I believed, was God's favourite number (like we bajao the ghanti 3 times in temple)...and the 4th time was just an extra, in case God missed one of them...hehehe...and the night before the school results every year, I used to stay awake all night and pray for a first rank...

hehehe...Well, I had a detailed theory on how to pray the right way...but all that, some other time...

In 11th class, most of my hair fell...mera bhagwaan se vishwaas uth gaya...and I turned into an atheist :-)...there was another reason...the deeper I went into Physics and Mathematics, the more the feeling that "God is crap" got strengthened...At least God in the form our religions preach cannot be real...God is something we have not even imagined yet...The creator cannot be an elephant-headed being with 2 wives who lives in the clouds (our satellites cud have got his snap if he had been there!!!)...We are yet to totally grasp the vastness of the universe...and whatever lies beyond...God cannot be so human...There are many other animals on earth...we just happen to be the more intelligent ones at present...imagine, there are more bacteria than us...do they have a god? A bacterium? In the microscopic world in which they live, may be even humans are a rare species...many may not even come accross one in their lifetimes...even our bodies contain so many microbes...what is the universe for them? A life form that has not seen anything beyond our insides has no idea what stars and moon are...can it even see anything? We are so human-centred in our thoughts...why should god take a human-like birth? Was Ram a Dinosaur in a previous birth? coz there were no humans on earth for hundreds of millions of years of the earth's history...the creator is definitely not human...he created so many other animals first...

There are huge depths of oceans still unexplored...somewhere there might be something that governs all our lives...hmmm, Well, sorry for the digression...

We don't know the true meaning of our existence. But that does not mean that we start believing whatever we are told, just for the sake of believing something...just to feel protected...just to rest assured that there is someone who loves the good and punishes the bad...

Let's come out of all this drama. Let's live for eachother...let's love eachother...let's have rules which beautify our lives...the ultimate goal should be human betterment...not blind following of rituals...not blind faith in any baba...look into the skies...there is a lot to make sense of...if we could just open our eyes...

...

I am having weird thoughts these days. Just a little while ago, I had a strange feeling. As I looked around, I imagined that I could see everyone in the office, and nothing else; that somehow I could choose what I saw. Somehow everything else would be filtered and my eyes will show me only that particular thing. And then sitting in this cubicle, I chose to be able to see all humans and nothing else. The image that formed in my mind as a result was wonderful. There was a grid of humans hanging in the air...3-D...many guys above me, in the upper floors, and many below and many at my level. Most of the people were in sitting postures, both their hands held in front of them...their fingers moved up and down and the eyes were all fixed on the nothingness in front of them...There were some guys walking, some just standing. I could see the bottoms of many shoes (I chose to see people in their clothes...hehe...)

As I looked afar, there were more people...all hanging in space. All seemed to be doing something. The hands, legs, bodies moved in weird fashions. I thought a little more...

I could not see the earth as well, there was no sky, no stars...The earth was a huge bunch of people hanging in space. There was something round in between, the earth itself, invisible, that separated people from one end of the globe and the other...from falling towards each other. I am not sure whether my eyes have the ability too see people so far away as the people at the other diametric end of the earth. There definitely was a spherical barrier I could notice as I looked down coz there were no people below that.

My hands could feel a lot of things...I could feel a box in front of me...A chair underneath...I got up...Nobody noticed me...I could see everyone...I tried to walk a little...people under me, people above me...I felt there was a path between 2 rows of people...I walked along that...I hit a wall...I turned...

A friend of mine, let's call him Shoonya...I told him everything about the limitations of my vision...He put things to eat in my hand...I ate them...I had to survive...He guided me when I had to move on the road...Saved me from being hit by vehicles...I did what he told me to...I ate what he gave me, I shit where he asked me to...I drank invisible water...

Then I started wondering, what if Shoonya wasn't there...what if there was no one like Shoonya...what if everyone was like me...I pondered more on that...

We would all have been humans hanging loosely in space...that's from the visibility point of view...but our sense of touch told us that there is a lot out here...and around...

Not sure how we would have evolved under those circumstances.

We wud never have had paper, pens, the wheel...at least in the visible form. I guess wheel could still have found a use...we cud have vehicles...invisible vehicles...moving on invisible roads...made smooth...what wud we get when we dig...go on digging...u go deep down...earth that can be seen through...the sense of touch would tell us that the temperature increases as u go deep...we'll have to stop beyond a point...could be a confusing situation...we dig a ditch...we cannot really see it...how do we spot it when we come back...may be drop a man inside to sit at the bottom just to show that there is a way to go that deep...

think more...

what would happen when a human being dies...not sure...he'd turn invisible? If not then we could use dead humans to make things visible. Tie some human material all over something and it would be visible. We could make roads, vehicles, tools everything visible like this. But not sure.

What about other living creatures on the earth. We couldn't see them. We'd be killed easily. Horrifying to see eaten human remains inside another animal.

we wouldn't know what seeing anything else means. What if we were a blind species?

Our concept of reality is formed by what we sense...and an extrapolation into what we cannot...and sometimes our theories and numbers too lead us to such conclusions which we cannot sense...to be verified when we might develop the power to sense them one day...directly or indirectly...

what about now? Are we seeing the reality? Are the 5 senses the only possible ways to sense anything? What are our limitations? I don't know if these questions can be answered...There could be a lot going on right in front of us, which we are unable to perceive...There could be something beyond mathematics, physics and chemistry that governs things...

I close my eyes, I see dots...lots of them.

my GMAT exam

GMAT is an easy exam. Though that depends on the examinee, it is no where close to CAT in spinning one's head.

I started my GMAT preparation by joining all GMAT related communities on orkut. I was happy to find many chupa rustam's of my company in there. I went through some of the posts on them, and also on pagalguy.com.

People ask funny questions on these forums -

can I prepare for GMAT in 2 weeks?

anyone from Pune giving GMAT? Let's meet and discuss... (such guys are here only and only looking for chicks to date. Even for me, that's one of the reasons why I join those forums but I never dare to make such posts...aur dating! hai dayya...kabhi nai...)

I gave my GMAT today...scored 750...Q-51, V-40...I studied OG-10, and joined Payal GMAT Coaching at Chinchwad Pune (if this post comes from a girl, all the guys will actively congratulate her, and ask for fundaes...)

(and some hopeless cases) I scored 570: Q-40, V-24, AWA-3...I am very disappointed...it was a bad day...please tell me which US BSchools I shud apply in (if this post comes from a girl, all the guys will try to kuchi-kuchi her...some will even name a few schools for her to apply...even US has gali-mohallas...)

I hated preparing for GMAT. All silly maths...problems like two taps A and B, A fills baalti in 5 mins, B in 4 minutes, both opened together, A closed after 10 minutes, B after 20 minutes...baalti has a hole at the bottom...water goes out and empties the baalti in 30 minutes...when will the balti be full if Shahrukh Khan opened the taps together at 12.00 am IST? How silly!

There is english which involves Sentence Correction, Critical Reasoning and Comprehension Passages...I tried to prepare a little by solving questions from the Official Guide (OG), 10th Edition...soft copy...but hamaar angreji to jaisan hai waisan hee rahi...

Preparation didn't help much...I went to Mumbai to take the test. It was at Solitaire Park in Chakala...19th July 06, Tuesday. At the centre I met an angrej guy. Didn't ask his name. It was the rainy season...I said Hi...He said Hi...then I said thank god it isn't raining...just tried to start a conversation...stammered once...he said - yeah, when it rains it rains like cats and dogs...I cud feel rings circling over my head...what have cats and dogs got to do with rains...anyway, I had eaten a sandwith and had 2 cups of tea before the test...something happened...while solving the english section my stomach started doing gurr gurr...things were moving up and down...lot of sound...all the test takers started looking at me...my stomach was disturbing everybody...I felt so embarrassed...20 mins wasted becos of that... :-(

I managed a 700+ score...the cats-and-dogs guy got 570...he was sad...angrej guy...he will do something...

felt like posting my score on one of those forums to impress chiks...but then there were too many chiks posting 750+ everyday...and many guys with 750+ too...I ditched the idea...

Poem Poem

Life was different when I was a kid
I used to be more in the open
See the little beauties of nature
See butterflies on flowers
See flowers on little plants
Flowers of various colours
of various sizes
How easy it was to give life
to a stem of rose
by planting it in the soil
magical it seemed
to my little eyes
to see it grow
the first flower was a treat to watch
and waiting for it was a beautiful experience
how i used to water it each day
how mom used to tell me
don't water too much
excess water kills the plant
for it was in a pot
how enchanting it was
to gift the first rose to mummy
to tell all my friends
that my plant had borne a rose
a real rose
I gave life to it
it was my kid

Does this qualify as poetry?
I'm not sure.
HEHE!

VOA BBC

Listening to the VOA News webcast as I'm writing this blog. Lot of information pouring in. In Mexico, this guy says, the Santa Claus wears a green costume. Everywhere else he wears a red one. The reason, he doesn't know.

Someone from India requested a romantic song to be played for his girl-friend. A song sung by Celine Dion. Wonder who'd bother to call US from India and request for a song to be played on VOA. Socho, it is not Radio Mirchi 98.3 FM. Definitely software guy. Misusing company facilities. A lot of my friends do that. I don't :-)

Las Vegas is the number one tourism destination for International Travellers in the US.

Sala another song. Bolta kam hai gana zyada bajata hai. May be this not the right time for VOA. Let's switch to BBC.

BBC is louder. I had to decrease the volume....The news reader is stammering.

Indian News!!!! Dalits pay homage to Baba Saheb Ambedkar on his 50th death anniversary. The Kanpur statue desecration issue mentioned. Indian correspondent, Zuber Amir in Mumbai - giving background of caste system in India, practices of untouchability etc....LTTE news...2 Palestinians shot by Israelis at Gaaza...this issue can give takkar to Kashmir issue...

A hospital in Malaysia refuses to release the body of a man whose religious identity is not clear....whether he was a Muslim or a Christian. The man, some Anthony, was originally a Christian. He converted to Islam in 1990 but converted back to Christianty in 1999 without informing the Muslim authorities, which refuse to allow him to be buried in the Christian way. Now it's not clear how to perform his last rites.

Bush has lost support from the American public for the war with Iraq. Sectarian violence in Iraq...

The teenages in Britan say that they don't feel trusted by their parents generation. But teenagers in India say that they like to take their parents' opinions. Russian and Georgian teenagers love arts and literature. Palestinian teenagers are scared to go out freely. Anybody can be shot any time. The program is called Generation-Next and connects teenagers all over the world. It's great...

1540 GMT - Latest Business News

More money to be spent on education in Britain to compete with fast growing economies like India and China...hahahaha...very true!

Overall National security (of Britain) budget $3.9 bn next year. Has increased tremendously over the past few years.

3.5 years after banning smoking in public places in New York, the New York health authorities are in news again. Trans-Fats, they say, increase the risk of heart attacks. So, Eliminate them in oils and food products...July deadline. Restaurant owners say that the deadline is unrealistic.

Sports News. ICC calls Pakistan to change drug policy. Pakistan's regulations are inconsistent. ICC asks PCB to reverse the ban on Shoaib Akhtar coz the players were not informed that the steroids they consumed were banned.

wah wah, no interest in sports news...bye bye, time for dinner!

:-(

This cubicle sucks - each micron of it. I have been sitting here for more than a year now. Same shitty place. All my neighbours have changed 2-3 times. More than once, I was lucky to have a female neighbour. One of them even used to talk to me once in a few days and also used to smile as she talked. Very few get this lucky in Geometric. We have an HR Manager who smiles all the time. Even when she gives gaalis she'll smile. She cries with a smile on her face...must have scared the entire hospital when she was born...baby who cries and smiles...

drunk and blogging

This is my first blog in a drunken state. To give u guys an idea of how much I got drunk, here are the details of my alcoholic intake tonight till a little while ago - 3 Smirnoff Large Pegs and 3 Taquila Shots. As most of my daaroobaaz friends told me today as I was drinking all this - this is really heavy drink. Most guys would collapse under this heavy level of drunkennes. But it is not so with me. It is not for no reason that I am called a tanki by some of my friends.

I remember the first time I drank. It all started due to Alok Srivastava...
Taking a room in C1L was definitely not a sensible decision. But given the choices of wings that we were supposed to write in the notice, and given the fact that nobody liked us ground floor sophies, and given also the fact that nobody wanted to enter C1L despite the fact that it was the wing of the famous poltu Alok Srivastava - Anshu pandey and I opted for C1L.

A day before the wing treat, Alok had a long conversation with me. He asked me - 'will u drink if i ask u to?'...i said "no...it is wrong, and I won't do it, coz I know for sure that it is wrong"...the next day was the treat...I drank, mostly coz I was afraid Alok might get angry ....and so did Anshu Pandey....but I liked the effect, though it was just red wine...

And thus was born a new shaksiyat...sridhar - the bewda...

I discovered I had a huge drinking potential...I cud drink a lot....without getting drunk...

Once during H6 Valfi, I mixed a lot of neat vodka and whiskey...and the result, I lost all senses...puked...and gave gaali's to my 1st year room-mate Ati Nikhil for a long time....and also banged my junior Vivek Rammurthy's door and gave him fundaes on good interaction with seniors, juniors and batchmates...though I don't remember a word either of the gaalis or the fundaes...

Got rid of Alok Srivastava at the end of my 3rd year. Then moved to C2R, and got some very good daaru mates like Verma Ji, Prade and Jhha. It was always fun drinking with them at SP. Prade never drank, but he was great company.

Taquilas are late to act....I can feel them doing something to me right now...these days treats generally comprise my IIT batchmates...we go to some good restaurant aani bar in Aundh, Pune and drink to our heart's content...talking about our careers, girls, and each other...

over and out!!!!!!

Screwed another CAT!!!

Another CAT, another disappointment, another bad day, and another period of deep introspection. This year the CAT exam was different in many ways. Firstly it had only 75 questions. A very very easy quant section (comprising 25 questions of course) was another surprising feature. But the deadliest of the sections was the english one - though frankly I, unlike most other examinees, was mostly clear with my answer choices. I got most of them wrong though...haha...23 attempts, 16 wrong in english as per the answer key posted online by TIME.

It's more than 48 hours and still even the experts from various coachings are not unanimous about the answers. Just got news that someone filed a Public Interest Litigation under the Right to Information Act asking the IIMs to publish the answer-key in papers. That does make sense. Every year there have been a few questions whose answers have been a point of great discussion and without a final agreement on which is the correct one. And this year, probably, there are more such questions than ever before - at least in English. (Well, wonder whether the last statement was a Fact, Inference or Judgement!!! :P )

After 3 attempts at "belling" the CAT and another when the paper leaked in 2003-04 (didn't do any good in that one as well), I am fed up of this exam. I always get screwed up in english. Sala decent bol leta hoon...itna kaafi nahi hai kya? What do they want...Lit-Studs? So that they create more of those painful "I'm an MBA - I know everything" kind of guys, who don't know what they talk...make a contraption out of their speeches, so that nobody questions them? A few are good, of course...but most of them - line mein khada karke - DHISHKAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!

The traditional Indian mindset of looking for stamps and "thappaas" is still very much there - an IIT Stamp, an IIM Stamp, and the latest - an ISB Stamp - which is whoppingly costly for no good reason. Though our BSchools produce a lot of output, it's no wonder that they still don't produce many entrepreneurs. Lots of grads from even the premier Indian BSchools, the current students and even the aspirants still see MBA as just a licence (a la Licence Raj) for a high-salary job. It is understandable, for capitalism is new in India, and old habits die hard. It's too early to expect to see candidates who don't bluff but have genuine reasons to do MBA, who don't mug up numbers and simply blurt - “IT Industry constitutes x % of our GDP” - but who have a vision that defines the future...“thought leaders” as some people call them...at least, we need “thinking leaders”...seriously.

Phir LaajVanti

Laajvanti, my dream-girlfriend, is very sharmeeli. Angrezi mein Shy. It's weird, Hindi has one word for both shyness and shame - sharm.

"Sharm aani chahiye tumhe" => You should be ashamed of yourself.
"Mujhe Sharm aa rahi hai" => I am feeling shy.

That's amazing. Wonderful!!!

So out of the two, Laajvanti is "Shy". But not so much as I am. There's an interesting thing about shy people. Meet someone who is less shy than you and you start u'r dadagiri and try to intimidate that person in whatever manner possible.

Kal shaam we went on a date to Besant Nagar Beach. Such a confused person I am, particularly when I am with a girl. From the moment I picked her up from her house, apun ka dimaag chalna band ho gaya.

I reached Laajo's house at around 6.00 PM IST on my Honda Activa. I had ensured that there was enough petrol for a reasonably long ride. I also got the skooty repaired. Kahin kuch band ho gaya to izzat kee whaat lag jayegi saalaa. With so much difficulty I could get Laajo to agree for a date with me...

It was Friday Evening. Laajo was playing solitaire on her desktop as usual. My cubicle is luckily the one adjacent to hers. All guys in my company, bachelors and married alike, are jealous of me. I get to sit so close to the damsel, who can make even Gods nervous and Goddesses jealous...what else could I ask for from the almighty. But this was not enough, according to my friend Bagga. 10 times everyday, he'd ask me the same question..."Saale, kuch kiya kya?"...I hated him...after my usual "nahi yaar"...his next dialog wud be - "Doob Marr saale".

Dekha jaaye to Bagga had a point. 6 months, and I cud hardly ever say a proper Hi to her. God, why you made me like this. Mai aisa kyon hoon Bhagwaan...

But on that friday, which was also Good Friday, I decided to ask her out.

Me - Laajo Ji, kal aap kya karr rahi hain?

Laajo - Kuch Nahi, Kyon?

Me - Waah, mai bhi kuch nahi karr raha...

Just at this point something happened. My body was going out of control. My fingers started shivering. My lips started shivering. It was getting difficult to get any word out. It was getting difficult to smile. My voice started breaking. Laajo noticed everything...Still kept looking straight into my eyes. Shit, when was it going to end, was my only worry.

Me - Kal aap mere saath beach pe baithengi kya?

God! That was not at all the way I actually wanted to ask.

Laajo - What do you mean?

I tried to gather some confidence, stopped smiling, coz that made my lips shiver more...and said...

Me - Aise hee, ham baith ke baatein karenge...If you don't like, then it's ok...

Laajo - Arey nahi nahi, that's fine...Mai bhi bore ho jaati hoon...isee bahaane kuch timepass bhi ho jaayega...And I will get to know you better...We sit so close, but never interact a lot...Bagga ko bhi le chalein?

What should be the right answer to this question? I was wondering. Bagga would be a definite Kabaab mein Haddi.

Me - Bagga ko ye sab pasand nahi...ghoomna ghaamna, baatein karna, aur ladkiyon ke saath baahar jana.

Meri saans atak gayee. Bagga kya sochega? Maine dost kee peeth mein chhoora bhonk diya...I made a mental note, that I would explain to Bagga how important it was to get him out of the way...he should understand...dost hai na...

Laajo - Ok

Me - ok then, mai kal 6.30 ko tumhe lene aaunga. Ready rehna...

I was building up a lot of confidence. Gosh, life mein ladki ho to confidence aise hee badh jata hai...I realized.

Laajo came out of the house in a blue salwar kameez.

Laajo - Itni jaldi aa gaye tum!

I had brought a pink rose for her. RamBharose had advised me that red rose bole to poora love, so pink rose paile dene ka...it shows that you love the lady but what she feels is more important for you...the theory made sense...but not sure if Laajvanti would take it the same way.

I gave her the rose...

Laajo - Oh, it's so sweet. Even I got something for u.

I had both my hands in my pocket so that she couldn't notice them shivering.

Laajo - Haath aage badhao.

I kept staring at her, and smiling. She looked stunning that day.

Laajo - Hello, Mr Tube Light, Mr YoU Tube, haath aage badhao.

She clapped twice, like a chhakka. Mai hosh mein aaya.

Me - Sorry, Kya kaha tumne?

Laajo - Maine kaha haath aage badhao...Stupid.

Maine apna haath aage badhaya, my palm was shivering so much, as if I was standing naked in Antartica.

Laajo - Ye headfone tumhare liye. Wow, tumhare haath to dance karr rahe hain...Ab ye laga ke office mein suno apne "sarkaye leyo khatiya" type ke gaane...uff you play them so loud...ek lady baaju mein baithi hai iska bhi khayaal nahi?

Usne meri le lee...Sharm (Shame) se meri aankhein jhuk gayee.

Laajo - Ollele, don't be so embarrassed. It's ok...ab chalein?

The date started. Since Laajo wore a salwar suit, she sat with both her legs to the left in a very feminine way, with one hand on my shoulder...her right hand on my right shoulder. Her perfume was very seductive. Mujhe raaste mein kuch nahi dikh raha tha.

Laajo - Pehle Pani Puri khayenge, fir u'll buy me a baloon, then we will sit on the beach and eat nuts...ok?

wow, she had planned everything.

Me - Yes Yes...whatever u say.

I shouted from inside the helmet. Laajo did some gud-gudi on my right shoulder with her right hand. I applied the breaks, it gave a sudden jhhatka...Laajo was pushed closer by the Pseudo or Inertial Force.

Laajo - hmmm, dhyaan nahi hai tumhara driving pe...naughty!

We reached the beach. I stopped at Yadav Pani Puri Wala's stall. Yadav knew me very well as I used to eat his pani puri almost every day. I liked his nature. He was very friendly, and was an expert at making pani puri exactly as per your taste.

Laajo - Kya hua, yahaan kyon roka?

Me - Pani Puri wala.

Laajo - Yahaan bahut unhigienic hai. I won't eat here.

Me - But he makes very good pani puri.

Laajo - chup raho, tumhe kuch nahi pata. Yahaan khaoge to beemar padoge, samjhe. I know one pani puri wala at the chaupati - Kishen. Wahaan bahut saaf suthra hai. Waheen khayenge. Chalo.

I obeyed. Yadav gave a sad smile. I knew that guy kishen also. His pani puris are costlier, and don't taste very good. And he doesn't care whether u like them or not. But how could I say no to Laajo...I obeyed...

Me - Whatever u say MaM.

Laajo - Haan Haan, bahut badmaash ho gaye ho...

I didn't understand why she said so. Was she flirting? Anyway, we went on towards the chaupati. She gave another gud-gudi at my shoulder...I applied a sudden break again...and God, I love this Pseudo Force.

Laajo ate 1 plate Pani Puri at Kishen's thela. I ate 2. I didn't have a hanky to wipe my hands. I put my hands in my pocket for a while, as Laajo was busy tying her hair. Hands dry! I pulled out my hands and paid for the panu puri.

I bought a DIL shaped baloon, a red one, from a shop near by...Laajo blushed...

Laajo - Hmmmm...you are so sweet.

I gave it to her. I blushed. Then I tried to look into her eyes. They were beautiful.

We walked nearer to the shore, and sat on the sand at a safe distance, from water and from each other. A boy selling nuts passed by. I bought some nuts for 5 rupees. The boy smiled looking at me and Laajo, as he pocketted the money and went away. I kept the nuts pack in my hand, so that I could keep offering nuts to Laajo once in a while.

Laajo - Do you have a girl-friend?

Did I look like I had one? Guys with GF's are so confident. I guess she just wanted to embarrass me with that question.

Me - No. Here, have these (nuts)...

She took one.

Laajo - Why?

Me - I don't know...yet to meet my kind of gal I suppose...

Laajo - What'll u'r kind of gal be like?

I didn't have an answer to this question. Sometimes every girl seemed to be of my kind. Sometimes none. I was so confused. How could I say any gal would do. All this confusion resulted in a very sad and confused expression...Laajo noticed it...and totally misinterpreted it.

Laajo - well, I can understand...I've had my share of heart-breaks.

Women are excellent empathizers, sympathizers and I love this quality in females. But how could I tell her that she got me totally wrong at this. Anyway, it was nice to be heart-broken than to be a guy who'd never had a girl-friend.

Laajo - Ok, let's talk something else. Have you seen Vivah? I just loved it.

Me - Yes I have, Amrita is sexy in it.

Laajo - (smiling) You guys cannot think of anything else.

Then for 45 minutes, Laajo kept talking about herself, how much she loved her work, why her boss Chaman Lal was a nice guy, why Rampyari was a bitch, about her goals and ambitions, why she never replied to any scrap on orkut, why she didn't even put a pic on her orkut profile, why she wore a blue salwar suit that day, why she thought I was an intelligent guy, all the good things she noticed about me, and what she liked about Bagga.

The last one made me very jealous. I told her about all the bad qualities Bagga had - that he was into drugs for some time, that he didn't respect any woman, that he never did his work properly and was always doing something on icicidirect.com. Surprisingly, whatever I said about Bagga seemed to turn her on. She went on laughing. I could hold it no longer...I said it...and not at all in style...

Me - Laajo, I love you.

Laajo - what? Are you nuts?

Me - No really I mean it...aur aaj mujhe baar baar ek hi khayaal aa raha hai...

Laajo - Kya?

Me - Will you be my timepass?

Picked this up from the movie Kya Kool Hain Hum...it seemed to have worked in the movie...just tried it...u always have Sense of Humor for an excuse...but the look on Laajo's face showed that she didn't like it even a bit...and I guess she didn't think any good about my sense of humor either...

Laajo - HuH! Are you ok?

I tried to repair the damage with some Shahrukh Khan stuff. Ritiesh Deshmush is never too reliable for female fundaes. I regretted that I tried him first...

Me - Yes, I have never been okier. When I am with you, I feel like I am at my best. You make me want to be a good man. I love you, and I will give you all the good things in life. I will kiss you each day 20 times. I will take you to all the most beautiful places on earth. I will bring stars and moon to your feet. We will marry. We will have kids. 2 kids. Raja and Rani. They will grow up and each will produce kids of his/her own. We will have grandkids. I will love you even when you grow fat after marriage. Each day of your life will be happier than any previous day. I will keep you away from all the things you dislike. I will take all u'r pains. If you die before I do, I will not re-marry and will spend the rest of my life in your sweet memories. If I die before u do...then...

I got confused...what should happen then?

Laajo - then?

I thought for a long while...dimaag chal hee nahi raha tha saala...the problem was, how can I do anything after my death. So there will be nothing in my hands if I die before.

Me - I think that's a bad situation. Better hai you die before I do.

Laajo - you are sick.

Me - Arrey, you missed the logic...I didn't mean you should die before...arey samjho...

Laajo - Mujhe kuch nahi samajhna. I am going. Fir kabhi mujhse baat mat karna. Maine tumhe kya samjha tha aur tum kya nikle. Sharm (shame) aani chahiye tumhe.

Me - Maine aisa kya karr diya? Suno to.

Why was she so angry. I said so many good things. Only on one I got confused. Uski itni badi saza? I couldn't take her nakhra any longer.

Me - (held her left hand) Tum aise nahi jaa sakti.

She slapped me with her right hand.

Laajo - Auto Auto

She shouted to an auto on the road. She ran, sat in that auto and went away.

Never propose to a girl on the first date. And if you get confused in front of girls and are overly driven by logic...and are afraid of the after-effects...and u'r nervousness is clearly visible...never propose to a girl by standing right in front of her...let love letters serve the purpose...

I finished the nuts and went home.

words of wisdom(1)

apni kamzoriyon ki izzat itni bhi mat karo ke tum unhe apni taaqat samajhne lago...

~Sridhar~

Happy Diwali

Wish you all a Happy and Safe Diwali. Have a lot of fun.

Today my company gave a surprise Diwali gift to all its employees. A pair of wrist watches - a gent's watch and a lady's watch. Open offer for ladies - come and grab a free wrist watch!!! Come asap, coz there's only one piece up for grabs!!!

IITB Memoirs (Part 1)

I passed IIT JEE. Wow, that was considered a great achievement. I realized that I was a great boy. All over Control Blocks, Railway Colony, Bilaspur-495004, there was noise, which was music to my ears and cacophony to Nageshwar Rao's. But who cares, apun ki to nikal padee...so I thought.

I ran to tell my Mom. She started crying - ab baccha door chala jaayega. But kya karne ka? This is life. Have to move out to become something.

My teacher Bannerjee Sir...Maths teacher...great teacher. Hello Bilaspur TV Channel people came to his house to take interviews of his students who had cracked the IIT JEE. Each one of us, the future IITians, had to speak for 2 minutes...We got instructions - tell your name, your JEE rank and how many hours per day you studied for IIT JEE. My face was like a shuddering smiley each time I heard guys say that they used to study 15-16 hours a day. I wanted to be truthful...I was a good boy even in those days...I said I used to study for 6 hours, and then went on to emphasize that quality of study matters more than quantity. I was so happy. I spoke a lot and was sure that I'd steal the show when it would be telecasted. Those useless TV channell guys cut all my words of wisdom.

But then, there are places like Bhilai where scores of guys clear IIT JEE every year, and none of them gets even 20% the importance that I got.

The councelling was interesting. My councelling (AIR 1627) was on the 2nd day. I went with my Mummy, Daddy and Sister. WoW, what a day that was! All over the IIT campus, there were guys and very few gals roming around with their parents. I was a seedha-saada bhola-bhala baccha. Like most parents of guys of my type, my parents were worried a lot about me. "How is this stupid guy going to live alone"...And looking at those guys who were all so confident, I didn't quite disagree with my parents. I went close to a group of guys talking about their plans post IIT. One guy said, "mostly MS!". I was taken aback. I hadn't even heard about MS and those guys knew that they wanted to do an MS after they graduated from IIT. Each passing moment consolidated my feeling that IIT was not the place for me. But then, who says no to IIT!

The councelling process was simple and systematic. Write your preferences(ex - "IITB-Engineering Physics-BTech" etc.) in an order and you will be allotted the first one found vacant at your rank. Without getting into details, lemme tell you that I finally got a seat in Civil Engineering (BTech) IIT Bombay.

And on the 17th of July 2000, I set out for Mumbai with my Dad to join Bharatiya Praudyogiki Sansthan to become an Engineer with an IIT Stamp!

who says life is fair?

I get up every morning, sometimes early, sometimes not so early. It is the same cycle repeated everyday. Each morning, the same cold emotional magma flows through my mind - why is all this happening? What is the meaning of all this? I get up from my mattress laid on the floor. I walk a few steps to my computer and check my email. Every morning my mind starts juggling all the painful memories inside this little head of mine, trying it's best to bring tears to my eyes. I close my eyes, try to hold my trembling lips together...breathing is difficult, I have to force air inside...and out...another cycle I cud never get rid of...All those terrible broken pieces of me from my past, I push them into the deepest black holes of my mind...strange, they bounce back every dawn...those dark devils want to spread darkness all over me...eating every ray of light that tries to brighten my soul with hope...I cry in pain...bruised all over, my body, my mind...what's my mistake, I ask...the devils roar...and say in a horrific unison...son, not u'r mistake, but then, who says life is fair?

Revenues vs Price Elasticity of Demand

price p
quantity q

p+dp
q-dq

assuming +ve (abs) value of elasticity

elasticity e = (dq/q)/(dp/p)
                   

dq = eq dp/p

if e = 1

dq = q dp/p

(p+dp)(q-dq) = (p+dp)(q-eq dp/p) = pq - eqdp + qdp - dp dp / p

the last term is too small

so

(p+dp)(q-dq) = pq - eqdp + qdp

if e = 1,

revenues(of company) = expenditure(of customers) = (p+dp)(q-dq) = pq

if e>1, let e=1+n

revenues = expenditure =
(p+dp)(q-dq) = pq - (1+n)qdp + qdp

                      = pq - nqdp

                      < pq if dp +ve
                      > pq if dp -ve

if e<1, let e=1-n

revenues = expenditure =
(p+dp)(q-dq) = pq - (1-n)qdp + qdp

                      = pq + nqdp

                     > pq if dp +ve
                     < pq of dp -ve

This means that when demand is inelastic change in prices will move the total revenues in the same directon as the prices


when demand is elastic, increase in prices will move the revenues in the opposite direction.

if demand elasticity is unitary, total expenditures or revenues are unchanged as price changes.

MunnaBhai Reloaded

Hi,

Wrote this play for Shilpee and her friends who provided me with the basic plot, and details of the characters. The story is inspired by the movies Lage Raho MunnaBhai and MunnaBhai MBBS and I have tried my best to bring the original MunnaBhai and Circuit into the characters in this play. Do read it with the original characters in mind, for best results :-)

This skit will be enacted and played tomorrow by NXP employees (in case they like it). NXP is a newly independent semiconductor company. It was originally a division of Phillips with the name Phillips Semiconductors and has recently been established as a separate entity.

Scene One...

===============

(Munna And Circuit in Phillips writing Java code to run semiconductor) 

Munna: e circuit, ye semiconductor mein locha hai re

Circuit: tension nai lene ka bhai, loop chalaneka do sau baar, garam hoinga, sab chalega bhaai

Munna: Tu mereko maamu samjha kya... arey jaane de re... chal jhanvi ko ek baar dekh ke aate hain 
Circuit: bhabhi!!! maii aate time dekha bhai...wo mere ko sharma ke hi bolne ki bhai...
Munna: are bhabhi ka pyar hai re

Scene Two...

===============

(At the Reception)

Circuit: Bhai maa bolne ki hamesha ladki se ijjat se baat karne ka

Munna: Bole to 

Circuit: Bhai dekh, ishtyle se jaane ka... serious moo banake bolne ka - Eskoose me... fir pata nai kya karne ka bhai...

Munna: Abe jhanvi ke saame jate hee apun ko kuch bolne koich nai hota re... sala apun yeda hai... chal wapas...

Circuit: Nai bhai himmat se kaam lene ka... aap jao bhai, mai idhar hai na, koi tension nai...

(Munna Goes to Jhanvi)

Munna: (Blushing) Wo... bole to... Escooose me!

Jhanvi: (pulling back her Lutt falling on her cheeks) Yes, How may I help you sir...

Munna: Wo Wo

Jhanvi: (Smiling) Munna, Kya hua?

Munna: Wo Wo, apun apna extension number poochne ko aayela hai.

Jhanvi: (Blushing) Munna, Tum Bhi...

(Munna Runs Away in tension)

Scene Three...

===============

(Munna Circuit at coffee machine taking coffee)

Munna: (panting) E Curcuit, apun se nai hoga re... wo Jhanvi apne gal se lutt ko nikal ke kaan ke picchu ghusati hai na rey, apun to usko dekhtaich reh jata hai re... aur uski wo smile... apun usse kabhi dil ki baat nai bol payega re...

Circuit: Kya bhai, himmat se kaam lene ka bhai... aap sahi jaa raele they bhai, itna ijjat to apun ki maa bhi nai sikhayi... bas thoda aur vinamrata se bol dene ka bhai, aise bhagega scene se to bhabhi pe impression down hone ka bhai...

Munna: Yaar, apun ka dil jor jor se dhadak raela tha, susu bhi lag raela tha...aise mein kya bolne ka kuch samjhta nai re...

Circuit: Bhai, lambi saans leke bol dene ka bhai...abhi dekho na bhai, agle week NXP alag hone ka Phillips se... fir bhabhi chali jayegi bhai...

Munna: (taken aback) Kya baat karr raela hai, ye tu abhi tak apun ko kai ko nai bataya...

Circuit: Bhai wo apun socha aap ko dukh hoga... But ab tension nai hai bhai, aap usse paile bhabhi ko sab bol do...

Munna: Saalaa...kai ko alag karr raele hain NXP ko Phillips se

Circuit: wo oopar ka aadmi log kuch locha kiyele bhai...

Munna: (loud and angry)Sala apun ka koi ijjat nai kya? jidhar mangta hai udhar daal diya... mai company ka whaat laga dega sala... 

Circuit: Bhai, thande dimaag se kaam lo bhai...

Munna: Ab bahut ho gaya sala... apun idhar kaam nai karega... jaake bol de Veenamrata(say it in mumbayya style) Greel se...apun bhi NXP jayega jhanvi ke saath...

Circuit: Mast Idea bhai...but apun ki maa bolne ki paile naya job lene ka, fir resign karne ka...

Munna: Chal fir, NXP ke HR ke paas...abhi-ich faiisla kar daalte...

Scene Four...

===============

(NXP office building)

Munna: Abe circuit, ye office to mast hai re...dekh iska color apun ke pant ke color se match hota hai...

Circuit: (Laughs histerically) Haan bhai, aur apun ki chaddi ke color se (HAHAHAHA)

Munna: E chup karr...

Circuit: Bhai apne ko Mr. India se milne ka hai, bole to idar ka HR Manager

Munna: isko poochte hain... (to chaprasi carrying tea cups tray) e, ye Meestar Indiya kidar baithta hai re

Chaprasi: Kai ko?

Munna: Bole to, apun ko ye company mein kaam karne ka hai...

Chaprasi: Kya kaam karne ka? (careless, busy, indifferent style)

Munna: Apun Software Engineer hai re...Semiconductor ka java program banata hai...(say in a proud way)

Chaprasi: (Laughs) Mai bhi sochta hoon Google join karr loon...

Circuit: (takes out chakku in style) hey hey chaaaila, tereko seedhe se poocha to chamakta nai kya...

(Suddenly Munna sees Gandhi foto on the wall, play "Raghupati raghav" song in background for some time) munna goes near gandhi foto, pranams it(show it for 1 min)... his mood changes totally...

Munna: E circuit, Gandhiji, bole to bapu bole bura na bolo...bole to ahinsa rey...ye chakku phek de circuit...

Circuit: Bhai kya bol raele aap? kal raat ki piyeli ab chadi kya bhai?

Munna: Arrey, bapu bole re...wo apun ko angrej log se ajadi dilaye...apun uskeeich baat nai maante re...Dekh wo foto se nikal ke aayele, kitna pareshan ho gaya bapu apna...apun ab uski harr baat maanega...

Circuit: (wonders, confused) bapu Kidar hai bhai

Munna: ye saamne re, dikhta nai kya tereko? (show gandhi character now, smiling calmly)

Circuit: (still confused, but gives up) haan haan bhai, ye hai na, saamneich, namaste bapu....kaisa hai?

Scene Five...

===============

Mr India (in sunil shetty voice): Nai Nai Nai, aap log kaise phillips se NXP join karenge. It is against the terms of the agreement. 

Circuit: (very violently) Teri agreement ki aisi ki taisi...

Gandhi (to Munna): Apni maangon ko shantipoorvak rakho, aur kabhi kathor bhasha ka prayog mat karo

Munna: E circuit, sunta nai bapu kya bol raele hain...shantipoorvak bol...(to mr India) dekh mister india, ye apun ka aur circuit ka resume, apun ko teri company mein kaam karne ka hai...tu ye padh ke apun ko bol apun kab join karega...aur dekh, tu jab tak apun ko lega nai, apun nai hilega idar se...

Gandhi: bahut khoob munna...LOL bakLOL...(says loudly)

Mr India: (sunil shetty voice) Meet Ms Vinamrata Gill, Phillips HR...(does a chutki and vanishes)

Munna: Ye to gaya re...ab apun kya karega

Gandhi: Vinamrata se milo...aur yaad hai na, ladies se ijjat se baat karne ka...he he

Munna: Haan bapu, e chal circuit, vinamrata ke paas...

Scene six...

===============

Vinamrata: (very stylish, speaks english all the time, semi american accent) yes, tell me.

Munna: wo bole to madam apun ko NXP mein naukri karne ka hai. But wo Mr. India hai na, wo apun se khunnas kha ke baitela hai...bolta hai terms of agreement se apun udar nai jaa sakta...

Vinamrata: Yes, unless u have a very genuine reason. Do u have any?

Munna: (blushes) wo bole to, wo jhanvi hai na, NXP ki receptionist, apun ko usse pyar ho gaela hai.

Circuit: arrey madam, paili baar bhai ko pyar hua hai...ab to udar jana managtaich hai...apun ko bhi, becoj bhair munna thair cirkeshwar!!!

Vinamrata: what crap! get lost.

Munna: (angry) Teri to...

Gandhi: Tehro munna, bhool gaye?

Munna: O sorry bapu. (to Vinamrata) Dekh Vinamrata, tu apun ko jaane de...apun tere se request karta hai...aur jab tak tu apun ko NXP nahi jaane degi, apun terese request karta rahega...sahi kaha na bapu?

Gandhi: bilkul sahi...sexy!!!

Vinamrata: you guys are sick.

(Munna takes out a rose from his pocket, and says "Get Well Soon")

Vinamrata goes out, a kid gives her flowers and says get well soon

Vinamrata sees TV, usme some man comes and says get well soon

on road there are demonstrations: get well soon vinamrata

everyone in office writes get well soon on their shirts

Scene seven...

===============

(jhanvi sees a chaprasi with get well soon on his shirt, asks him)

jhanvi: e kallu, kai zhala? ye get well soon kai re? 

chaprasi: wo bole to aap apun log ki bhabhi banne waali na. munna bhai fight maar rele NXP jaane ko. Aur wo Vinamrata nai jaane de reli.

jhanvi surprised. smiles by thinking about munna.

meanwhile munna passes...he sees jhanvi

Gandhi: Munna aaj bol hee do.

Munna: ok bapu...aashirwaad do.

Gandhi gives aashirwad

Munna: Jhanvi, wo bole to...

Jhanvi: (smiling, playing with her ear-rings) Kuch mat kaho munna...bass mujhe apne gale se laga lo...

(they hug)

one song. munna and jhanvi dancing - chhan chhan song from Munna MBBS

Scene Eight...

===============

Kabhibhishake: vinamrata, i am back from US. came back only for u.

Vinamrata: kya!

Kabhibhishake: yes, and i have joined phillips, so that we can stay together.

Vinamrata: O honey!

Kabhibhishake: And Vinamrata, look into my eyes... (long pause as they look into each other's eyes). Will you marry me..

Vinamrata: (tears, and joy...ultimate) (loud) yes. (they hug)

(after all hugging over)

Vinamrata: Kabhibhi, i did a big mistake, now i understand the value of being in love and being together. I must not stop munna from joining NXP.

Kabhibhishake: yes i know...i came to know about that...even i was going to say "get well soon". But thank god u realized before i said it.

Vinamrata: u naughty(hugs)...Thanks Jaan!

Scene Nine...

===============

Vinamrata: Jao Munna, go with your love.

(Munna very happy)

Gandhi: dekha munna, vinamrata ki taakat.

Munna: thanks bapu, thanks vinamrata

(everyone confused)

Circuit: Aur apun?

Vinamrata: Jahan munna, wahaan circuit... all laugh

Vinamrata goes and puts munna and jhanvi's hands together

curtain falls

Back-Neck-Pains

Wonder where this neck pain has come from. It sucks. I have a long neck and these days I have to walk with my head bent forward and a little down like that of tortoise and all gals laugh on looking at me. It sucks.

It started with a back-ache. God, what a back-ache it has been! Gradually however, a part of it has shifted to the neck and that's how I got the neck pain. I have become a joke of the town. My boss looks at me, runs his fingers through his hair, as if thinking deep, and makes the most intelligent guess of his life...I guess you have made it too...yes, that I got into wrong positions doing something something etc etc. Then I try hard to explain Sir, I'm good baccha, not doing all that...but he doesn't believe me...

It is hard to sit in the office like this staring at my desktop all day with this tortoise neck and teddy-bear back. However, I am not going to take any medicines. I have great confidence in the self-healing powers of my body. I'm going to be fine very soon.

Flashing news, my landlord raised my house-rent by 10% in line with the current market situation. I think I have to sacrifice my daily dose of Pani-Puri to pay the extra rent now. Nobody likes my eating Pani-Puri. Everyone asks me to get rid of the habit as if it's cocaine, not Pani-Puri.

Good Morning Pune-Maharashtra-India-Asia-World-Earth-Solar System-Milky Way-Universe-Cosmos. Nice Friday!

my first (and last) DANDIYA

mera ek room-mate tha IIT mein...bahut enthu se naachta tha daandiya. hostel ka dandiya tha...wo banda turant saj dhaj ke ek hot ladkiyon ke gang mein chala gaya naachne. mai door khada dekh raha tha. ladkiyaan bahut saari thi aur wo akela

so usne mujhpe taras khaake mujhe bula liya. so mai dande leke gaya...i never did that before...aur mujhe jo ladki mili she was like a fairy...itni sundar kabhi nahi dekha...mere hosh udd gaye!

mai jaake usko bola i didn't know how to dance...i never did before...she tried to teach me... steps, 1-2-3-4 etc...aisi ladki sikhayegi to kya khaak ghusega kuch dimaag mein...mai bass use dekhta reh gaya... wo 2-3 baar sikhayi. but still i cudn't dance beyond step-1

fir maamlaa serious hone laga...i was getting embarrassed and she was getting offers from all over from handsome guys...bande mujhe bhooke sher kee tarah dekh rahe they...that gal also wanted to go to them rather than wasting her time with me...but mujhe bura lagega soch ke she was trying to teach me...

fir maine hee bol diya ke rehne do...i go...and goed.

mai wapas jaake gallery mein baitha...wahaan ek moti ladki thi jisko pakka kuch nahi aataa tha...uske thhobde pe likha tha...i went to her and asked her if she wud dance with me...she said she didn't know how to...maine kaha mujhe bhi thoda thoda ata hai...fir maine uss ladki ko apne hisaab se kuch easy 1-2-3-4 steps sikha diye...

she was very tense...mere haath pe maarti thi danda hamesha...30 mins full concentration on sticks ke saath we danced...it was more like a jumping excercise....

uske baad uska bhi boy-friend aake usko le gaya.

bass, fir kabhi jurrat nahi kee hamne.

Any Clues?

I have been a Software Engineer for more than 2 years now. It has been a boring and uneventful tale of idle times in the life of a super-human :-). Life was different during my Engineering in a very well known technological institute of India. I did Civil Engineering from there. I used to be very good in Soil Mechanics. So much that I chose a very strict soil-mech-professor as my project-guide during my final year. I Had not known that soil==toil in Civil Engineering when I opted for a BTP in that field. I was carried away by 2 consecutive AA's in Soil Mechanics courses during my 3rd year. The 4th year was one of hard labour - doing compaction and stress-strain tests on soil - 70% Kaolin + 30% sand, referring to research papers, and tweaking the experimental readings so that my curves matched those by Karl Tarzaghi. Playing with soil was one of the many things I didn't do much as a kid. I had more than enough of it in college. God is very kind, isn't he?

I had the best times in school. I liked whatever I did. I wonder where I drew all the motivation from. Success was the mantra. Interest was not the motivating factor. It was the hunger for success. But it is no longer like that. One reason for this might be that success doesn't mean a lot to me any more. I am not so successful a person to think that I have achieved too much to ask for more. Material success really has no limits. I realize that my definitions of success have changed over time. I seek an internal satisfaction which is far beyond all material achievements. The realization of the self, the all pervading reality, the ultimate truth, the magic of the internal enlightenment - I believe will lead to an eternal happiness which cannot be matched by that attained by material comforts, which are short-lived and superficial. How does one achieve that eternal happiness? Any clues?

being Principle Centered

To become principle centred is one of my newest resolutions. Stephen Covey says that it's the best way to live happily. I have also realized that of late.

So let's think how to go about becoming principle centred. Firstly, I have to have a firm and correct set of principles which are not only "good" but also suitable to my personality. WoW!!! I have to first figure out my personality. I hate it when my friend Nilesh Kamble says "saale tu confused hai". For the benefit of the readers who do not understand Hindi written in English, Nilesh says: "Hey Brother-in-Law(specifically, wife's brother in this case), you are a confused person". Then I give him 103 arguments to prove that the whole bloody world is confused. He doesn't say anything. I get more confused.

Sometimes I wonder whether it is possible to have a set of principles and rigidly adhere to them. And also whether it is good to have such principles in the first place. Interestingly, I found that knowingly or unknowingly, each one of us has some principles. And we are so rigid on quite a few of them that we can never even imagine ourselves violating those rules set unconsciously by us for ourselves. I think as human beings we are programmed, with some part of it done before we are born and the rest happens as we go through life, with all the principles that eventually govern our actions. Very few indeed are conscious of this continuous process in which their mind is getting programmed. A few who do understand the code being written learn to have better control of all the loops and conditions. Such people end up shaping not only themselves but also the world in a better way. At the other extreme are those who lose all control over themselves, and fall into an unending darkness and at the same time, they try to pull down the world along with them. They do not have any control over themselves, they do not know their principles. Their emotions, feelings, actions, lives are driven by external factors, on which they have no control. In other words, they are not principle centred.

So I think being principle centred is to be conscious of one's principles and how they are shaped as one goes through his life. This consciousness, once attained by a person, further leads him/her to understand and control all aspects of his/her personality.

no EQ in Assam!!!

I'm flying to Bangalore tomorrow. Air Deccan, sasta tickets - 3300 to-and-fro. Isn't that great? Long time since I sat in a plane. Maza aayega!!!
Happy News - There was no EarthQuake in Assam this morning!!!

A Geologist in Tamil Nadu had predicted that there was to be a major EarthQuake in Assam this morning. His prediction was based on his study of more than 2000 EarthQuakes over many years and the planetary alignments when those EarthQuakes occurred. According to the Geologist, there was a 70% probability of the occurance of the EarthQuake. The Government and the People of Assam had taken the alert very seriously and did whatever they could so that the EarthQuake caused minimal damage.

The ground didn't shake. All Happy!!!

Man is helpless in front of Nature. Would be interesting to see where man will be, in terms of his abilities and powers, 1000 years from now.

why do girls make guys nervous?

Getting nervous in front of girls is a very common problem with most guys. I have often thought about the reason for this, but could never reach a good conclusion. There are many possible reasons...

Girls are confident. At least they appear to be. Particularly beautiful girls. Normally confidence is directly proportional to looks, at least for most girls. And who else would a girl want to intimidate with that confidence than the poor guys who always have an edge in terms of physical prowess. And confidence is the only weapon the girls have to fight men. Women defeat men by attacking right at their weakest spots - their minds. Women have evolved and learnt to increasingly use their brains while men have been continuing in their old ways. For various genetic and evolutionary reasons men are normally sharper than women. But now we have a new breed of women coming up. These women are not only sharp, but also smart and intelligent. They think and act in the right way to succeed. And they have also learnt how to take over the men. Men feel helpless sometimes. And hence they get nervous when they face women.

Another reason could be fear of underperforming. Men want to impress women. These are unwritten rules which we all follow. Men follow women, try to impress them, win their hearts, woo them...the reason is physical attraction...but the male ego is such that it can never accept rejection in stride...and the lurking fear of rejection is powerful enough to make a man nervous...And most cultures have traditionally given the right of choice and rejection only to men and so women are genetically programmed to accept rejections without much pain...But men are not...only now are they getting the taste of it...

Women are a beautiful sex. Men get attracted to them very easily. But men feel very inferior in front of beautiful women. This may be because of their low self-worth. But frankly, excess beauty is indeed intimidating to face.

Having said that, I believe that it's all in our minds. There is always some mental block that makes us nervous. We need to identify that and get rid of it. It needs some effort, but is not too difficult. We just need to look into ourselves. Most of us do not spend sufficient time on ourselves. That's why we carry these mental baggages with us all our lives and in the end, we die with sad unfulfilled lives behind us. Let's make things better. Let's live the best lives that we can.

i'll grow up...

I was born in a simple middle-class family. We were simple in the way we lived, we talked, we dressed, we dreamt, we laughed, we cried. Life was not always happy. But not many things were there to be sad about. We helped each other, we spoke the truth, we wept at our failures and celebrated our successes. Sometimes those successes pushed us out of the middle-class boundaries. Some of us who had such fortunes, never returned back. Should I call them misfortunes? I don't know...I'm yet to leap the boundary...

We do have contact with people on the other side though. They are not good people. We are good people. I am a good boy. The last few statements seem so childish. I know that. That's the magic of being a child. A child knows he's often silly in its thougths, yet doesn't hinder whatever enters and leaves its mind. I am no more a child. But I've not grown to an adult either. I think I should grow up. The people on the other side of the boundary are too wicked for a child to handle. Soon, I will.

Glued to the Monitor

These days I am glued to the computer for most of my waking hours. To give an exact number, on an average, for about 15 hours everyday, I look at nowhere else but the computer monitor. It is awful to think about, but it is true.

Though I am a Software Engineer and working on the computer earns me my bread and butter, but that is not the whole and sole reason why my eyes don't like watching anything else. These days I have foung a new hobby in reading stuff on the internet. I read lots of things nowadays. All kinds of things, ranging from news to blogs, gossip to science, etc etc. Sometimes I don't even care what I am reading, I just read whatever I happen to come accross. I click on any random link and believe me this habit has taken me to some of the most interesting places on the web.

The Internet has an incredible wealth of information, and I guess I realized this prettly late. For many years, chatting and email were almost the only things I was interested in the internet for. I knew there was a lot more on the web, lot of information for instance, but it hardly mattered to me. May be that phase had its own significance in that I now realize the importance of my time and resources more than I ever did.

The new generation of the internet is the most remarkable development in the cyber age. Earlier the web was like a huge textbook which anyone could read. There were authorized people who indiscriminately published those textbooks and made them available to anyone who was online. But now, we have more powerful tools available. Now any user can not only read on the web, he can also contribute his views and knowledge, he can edit websites (wikipedia), he can write his own articles and have them visible to virtually anyone online...that's what I am doing...it's wonderful...

My head is spinning...Need to sleep now...

i don't invest...

I don't invest my money anywhere. Many people find this weird. There are few people like me, who let their money stay still in a savings bank account. I also don't produce fake bills and travel tickets to make my allowances non-taxable. I also don't ask my landlord to write an incredibly high amount on the house-rent receipts to save tax on my House Rent Allowance. I also don't move my money into a fixed deposit so that I get higher interest on my money.

I keep hearing that for highest returns, invest in Equity, ie Share Markets. I tried thousands of times, but I don't understand that business a whole lot. It's way too complex for me. So I am scared of investing in shares. I don't like the concept of life insurance coz it constantly reminds me of my death. I don't want to care about it. And I don't want to block my money in any way. So I hate fixed deposits. And I don't worry a lot about little gain here and little loss there. So I am happy with the small rate of interest that a savings bank accout pays. Coz finally, I am getting an interest, so what if it is 3.5% and not 5%. Don't want to get into the intricacies of banking beyond that. I'm happy with what I've got. Love to keep things simple in life...