words of wisdom(1)

apni kamzoriyon ki izzat itni bhi mat karo ke tum unhe apni taaqat samajhne lago...

~Sridhar~

Happy Diwali

Wish you all a Happy and Safe Diwali. Have a lot of fun.

Today my company gave a surprise Diwali gift to all its employees. A pair of wrist watches - a gent's watch and a lady's watch. Open offer for ladies - come and grab a free wrist watch!!! Come asap, coz there's only one piece up for grabs!!!

IITB Memoirs (Part 1)

I passed IIT JEE. Wow, that was considered a great achievement. I realized that I was a great boy. All over Control Blocks, Railway Colony, Bilaspur-495004, there was noise, which was music to my ears and cacophony to Nageshwar Rao's. But who cares, apun ki to nikal padee...so I thought.

I ran to tell my Mom. She started crying - ab baccha door chala jaayega. But kya karne ka? This is life. Have to move out to become something.

My teacher Bannerjee Sir...Maths teacher...great teacher. Hello Bilaspur TV Channel people came to his house to take interviews of his students who had cracked the IIT JEE. Each one of us, the future IITians, had to speak for 2 minutes...We got instructions - tell your name, your JEE rank and how many hours per day you studied for IIT JEE. My face was like a shuddering smiley each time I heard guys say that they used to study 15-16 hours a day. I wanted to be truthful...I was a good boy even in those days...I said I used to study for 6 hours, and then went on to emphasize that quality of study matters more than quantity. I was so happy. I spoke a lot and was sure that I'd steal the show when it would be telecasted. Those useless TV channell guys cut all my words of wisdom.

But then, there are places like Bhilai where scores of guys clear IIT JEE every year, and none of them gets even 20% the importance that I got.

The councelling was interesting. My councelling (AIR 1627) was on the 2nd day. I went with my Mummy, Daddy and Sister. WoW, what a day that was! All over the IIT campus, there were guys and very few gals roming around with their parents. I was a seedha-saada bhola-bhala baccha. Like most parents of guys of my type, my parents were worried a lot about me. "How is this stupid guy going to live alone"...And looking at those guys who were all so confident, I didn't quite disagree with my parents. I went close to a group of guys talking about their plans post IIT. One guy said, "mostly MS!". I was taken aback. I hadn't even heard about MS and those guys knew that they wanted to do an MS after they graduated from IIT. Each passing moment consolidated my feeling that IIT was not the place for me. But then, who says no to IIT!

The councelling process was simple and systematic. Write your preferences(ex - "IITB-Engineering Physics-BTech" etc.) in an order and you will be allotted the first one found vacant at your rank. Without getting into details, lemme tell you that I finally got a seat in Civil Engineering (BTech) IIT Bombay.

And on the 17th of July 2000, I set out for Mumbai with my Dad to join Bharatiya Praudyogiki Sansthan to become an Engineer with an IIT Stamp!

who says life is fair?

I get up every morning, sometimes early, sometimes not so early. It is the same cycle repeated everyday. Each morning, the same cold emotional magma flows through my mind - why is all this happening? What is the meaning of all this? I get up from my mattress laid on the floor. I walk a few steps to my computer and check my email. Every morning my mind starts juggling all the painful memories inside this little head of mine, trying it's best to bring tears to my eyes. I close my eyes, try to hold my trembling lips together...breathing is difficult, I have to force air inside...and out...another cycle I cud never get rid of...All those terrible broken pieces of me from my past, I push them into the deepest black holes of my mind...strange, they bounce back every dawn...those dark devils want to spread darkness all over me...eating every ray of light that tries to brighten my soul with hope...I cry in pain...bruised all over, my body, my mind...what's my mistake, I ask...the devils roar...and say in a horrific unison...son, not u'r mistake, but then, who says life is fair?

Revenues vs Price Elasticity of Demand

price p
quantity q

p+dp
q-dq

assuming +ve (abs) value of elasticity

elasticity e = (dq/q)/(dp/p)
                   

dq = eq dp/p

if e = 1

dq = q dp/p

(p+dp)(q-dq) = (p+dp)(q-eq dp/p) = pq - eqdp + qdp - dp dp / p

the last term is too small

so

(p+dp)(q-dq) = pq - eqdp + qdp

if e = 1,

revenues(of company) = expenditure(of customers) = (p+dp)(q-dq) = pq

if e>1, let e=1+n

revenues = expenditure =
(p+dp)(q-dq) = pq - (1+n)qdp + qdp

                      = pq - nqdp

                      < pq if dp +ve
                      > pq if dp -ve

if e<1, let e=1-n

revenues = expenditure =
(p+dp)(q-dq) = pq - (1-n)qdp + qdp

                      = pq + nqdp

                     > pq if dp +ve
                     < pq of dp -ve

This means that when demand is inelastic change in prices will move the total revenues in the same directon as the prices


when demand is elastic, increase in prices will move the revenues in the opposite direction.

if demand elasticity is unitary, total expenditures or revenues are unchanged as price changes.

MunnaBhai Reloaded

Hi,

Wrote this play for Shilpee and her friends who provided me with the basic plot, and details of the characters. The story is inspired by the movies Lage Raho MunnaBhai and MunnaBhai MBBS and I have tried my best to bring the original MunnaBhai and Circuit into the characters in this play. Do read it with the original characters in mind, for best results :-)

This skit will be enacted and played tomorrow by NXP employees (in case they like it). NXP is a newly independent semiconductor company. It was originally a division of Phillips with the name Phillips Semiconductors and has recently been established as a separate entity.

Scene One...

===============

(Munna And Circuit in Phillips writing Java code to run semiconductor) 

Munna: e circuit, ye semiconductor mein locha hai re

Circuit: tension nai lene ka bhai, loop chalaneka do sau baar, garam hoinga, sab chalega bhaai

Munna: Tu mereko maamu samjha kya... arey jaane de re... chal jhanvi ko ek baar dekh ke aate hain 
Circuit: bhabhi!!! maii aate time dekha bhai...wo mere ko sharma ke hi bolne ki bhai...
Munna: are bhabhi ka pyar hai re

Scene Two...

===============

(At the Reception)

Circuit: Bhai maa bolne ki hamesha ladki se ijjat se baat karne ka

Munna: Bole to 

Circuit: Bhai dekh, ishtyle se jaane ka... serious moo banake bolne ka - Eskoose me... fir pata nai kya karne ka bhai...

Munna: Abe jhanvi ke saame jate hee apun ko kuch bolne koich nai hota re... sala apun yeda hai... chal wapas...

Circuit: Nai bhai himmat se kaam lene ka... aap jao bhai, mai idhar hai na, koi tension nai...

(Munna Goes to Jhanvi)

Munna: (Blushing) Wo... bole to... Escooose me!

Jhanvi: (pulling back her Lutt falling on her cheeks) Yes, How may I help you sir...

Munna: Wo Wo

Jhanvi: (Smiling) Munna, Kya hua?

Munna: Wo Wo, apun apna extension number poochne ko aayela hai.

Jhanvi: (Blushing) Munna, Tum Bhi...

(Munna Runs Away in tension)

Scene Three...

===============

(Munna Circuit at coffee machine taking coffee)

Munna: (panting) E Curcuit, apun se nai hoga re... wo Jhanvi apne gal se lutt ko nikal ke kaan ke picchu ghusati hai na rey, apun to usko dekhtaich reh jata hai re... aur uski wo smile... apun usse kabhi dil ki baat nai bol payega re...

Circuit: Kya bhai, himmat se kaam lene ka bhai... aap sahi jaa raele they bhai, itna ijjat to apun ki maa bhi nai sikhayi... bas thoda aur vinamrata se bol dene ka bhai, aise bhagega scene se to bhabhi pe impression down hone ka bhai...

Munna: Yaar, apun ka dil jor jor se dhadak raela tha, susu bhi lag raela tha...aise mein kya bolne ka kuch samjhta nai re...

Circuit: Bhai, lambi saans leke bol dene ka bhai...abhi dekho na bhai, agle week NXP alag hone ka Phillips se... fir bhabhi chali jayegi bhai...

Munna: (taken aback) Kya baat karr raela hai, ye tu abhi tak apun ko kai ko nai bataya...

Circuit: Bhai wo apun socha aap ko dukh hoga... But ab tension nai hai bhai, aap usse paile bhabhi ko sab bol do...

Munna: Saalaa...kai ko alag karr raele hain NXP ko Phillips se

Circuit: wo oopar ka aadmi log kuch locha kiyele bhai...

Munna: (loud and angry)Sala apun ka koi ijjat nai kya? jidhar mangta hai udhar daal diya... mai company ka whaat laga dega sala... 

Circuit: Bhai, thande dimaag se kaam lo bhai...

Munna: Ab bahut ho gaya sala... apun idhar kaam nai karega... jaake bol de Veenamrata(say it in mumbayya style) Greel se...apun bhi NXP jayega jhanvi ke saath...

Circuit: Mast Idea bhai...but apun ki maa bolne ki paile naya job lene ka, fir resign karne ka...

Munna: Chal fir, NXP ke HR ke paas...abhi-ich faiisla kar daalte...

Scene Four...

===============

(NXP office building)

Munna: Abe circuit, ye office to mast hai re...dekh iska color apun ke pant ke color se match hota hai...

Circuit: (Laughs histerically) Haan bhai, aur apun ki chaddi ke color se (HAHAHAHA)

Munna: E chup karr...

Circuit: Bhai apne ko Mr. India se milne ka hai, bole to idar ka HR Manager

Munna: isko poochte hain... (to chaprasi carrying tea cups tray) e, ye Meestar Indiya kidar baithta hai re

Chaprasi: Kai ko?

Munna: Bole to, apun ko ye company mein kaam karne ka hai...

Chaprasi: Kya kaam karne ka? (careless, busy, indifferent style)

Munna: Apun Software Engineer hai re...Semiconductor ka java program banata hai...(say in a proud way)

Chaprasi: (Laughs) Mai bhi sochta hoon Google join karr loon...

Circuit: (takes out chakku in style) hey hey chaaaila, tereko seedhe se poocha to chamakta nai kya...

(Suddenly Munna sees Gandhi foto on the wall, play "Raghupati raghav" song in background for some time) munna goes near gandhi foto, pranams it(show it for 1 min)... his mood changes totally...

Munna: E circuit, Gandhiji, bole to bapu bole bura na bolo...bole to ahinsa rey...ye chakku phek de circuit...

Circuit: Bhai kya bol raele aap? kal raat ki piyeli ab chadi kya bhai?

Munna: Arrey, bapu bole re...wo apun ko angrej log se ajadi dilaye...apun uskeeich baat nai maante re...Dekh wo foto se nikal ke aayele, kitna pareshan ho gaya bapu apna...apun ab uski harr baat maanega...

Circuit: (wonders, confused) bapu Kidar hai bhai

Munna: ye saamne re, dikhta nai kya tereko? (show gandhi character now, smiling calmly)

Circuit: (still confused, but gives up) haan haan bhai, ye hai na, saamneich, namaste bapu....kaisa hai?

Scene Five...

===============

Mr India (in sunil shetty voice): Nai Nai Nai, aap log kaise phillips se NXP join karenge. It is against the terms of the agreement. 

Circuit: (very violently) Teri agreement ki aisi ki taisi...

Gandhi (to Munna): Apni maangon ko shantipoorvak rakho, aur kabhi kathor bhasha ka prayog mat karo

Munna: E circuit, sunta nai bapu kya bol raele hain...shantipoorvak bol...(to mr India) dekh mister india, ye apun ka aur circuit ka resume, apun ko teri company mein kaam karne ka hai...tu ye padh ke apun ko bol apun kab join karega...aur dekh, tu jab tak apun ko lega nai, apun nai hilega idar se...

Gandhi: bahut khoob munna...LOL bakLOL...(says loudly)

Mr India: (sunil shetty voice) Meet Ms Vinamrata Gill, Phillips HR...(does a chutki and vanishes)

Munna: Ye to gaya re...ab apun kya karega

Gandhi: Vinamrata se milo...aur yaad hai na, ladies se ijjat se baat karne ka...he he

Munna: Haan bapu, e chal circuit, vinamrata ke paas...

Scene six...

===============

Vinamrata: (very stylish, speaks english all the time, semi american accent) yes, tell me.

Munna: wo bole to madam apun ko NXP mein naukri karne ka hai. But wo Mr. India hai na, wo apun se khunnas kha ke baitela hai...bolta hai terms of agreement se apun udar nai jaa sakta...

Vinamrata: Yes, unless u have a very genuine reason. Do u have any?

Munna: (blushes) wo bole to, wo jhanvi hai na, NXP ki receptionist, apun ko usse pyar ho gaela hai.

Circuit: arrey madam, paili baar bhai ko pyar hua hai...ab to udar jana managtaich hai...apun ko bhi, becoj bhair munna thair cirkeshwar!!!

Vinamrata: what crap! get lost.

Munna: (angry) Teri to...

Gandhi: Tehro munna, bhool gaye?

Munna: O sorry bapu. (to Vinamrata) Dekh Vinamrata, tu apun ko jaane de...apun tere se request karta hai...aur jab tak tu apun ko NXP nahi jaane degi, apun terese request karta rahega...sahi kaha na bapu?

Gandhi: bilkul sahi...sexy!!!

Vinamrata: you guys are sick.

(Munna takes out a rose from his pocket, and says "Get Well Soon")

Vinamrata goes out, a kid gives her flowers and says get well soon

Vinamrata sees TV, usme some man comes and says get well soon

on road there are demonstrations: get well soon vinamrata

everyone in office writes get well soon on their shirts

Scene seven...

===============

(jhanvi sees a chaprasi with get well soon on his shirt, asks him)

jhanvi: e kallu, kai zhala? ye get well soon kai re? 

chaprasi: wo bole to aap apun log ki bhabhi banne waali na. munna bhai fight maar rele NXP jaane ko. Aur wo Vinamrata nai jaane de reli.

jhanvi surprised. smiles by thinking about munna.

meanwhile munna passes...he sees jhanvi

Gandhi: Munna aaj bol hee do.

Munna: ok bapu...aashirwaad do.

Gandhi gives aashirwad

Munna: Jhanvi, wo bole to...

Jhanvi: (smiling, playing with her ear-rings) Kuch mat kaho munna...bass mujhe apne gale se laga lo...

(they hug)

one song. munna and jhanvi dancing - chhan chhan song from Munna MBBS

Scene Eight...

===============

Kabhibhishake: vinamrata, i am back from US. came back only for u.

Vinamrata: kya!

Kabhibhishake: yes, and i have joined phillips, so that we can stay together.

Vinamrata: O honey!

Kabhibhishake: And Vinamrata, look into my eyes... (long pause as they look into each other's eyes). Will you marry me..

Vinamrata: (tears, and joy...ultimate) (loud) yes. (they hug)

(after all hugging over)

Vinamrata: Kabhibhi, i did a big mistake, now i understand the value of being in love and being together. I must not stop munna from joining NXP.

Kabhibhishake: yes i know...i came to know about that...even i was going to say "get well soon". But thank god u realized before i said it.

Vinamrata: u naughty(hugs)...Thanks Jaan!

Scene Nine...

===============

Vinamrata: Jao Munna, go with your love.

(Munna very happy)

Gandhi: dekha munna, vinamrata ki taakat.

Munna: thanks bapu, thanks vinamrata

(everyone confused)

Circuit: Aur apun?

Vinamrata: Jahan munna, wahaan circuit... all laugh

Vinamrata goes and puts munna and jhanvi's hands together

curtain falls

Back-Neck-Pains

Wonder where this neck pain has come from. It sucks. I have a long neck and these days I have to walk with my head bent forward and a little down like that of tortoise and all gals laugh on looking at me. It sucks.

It started with a back-ache. God, what a back-ache it has been! Gradually however, a part of it has shifted to the neck and that's how I got the neck pain. I have become a joke of the town. My boss looks at me, runs his fingers through his hair, as if thinking deep, and makes the most intelligent guess of his life...I guess you have made it too...yes, that I got into wrong positions doing something something etc etc. Then I try hard to explain Sir, I'm good baccha, not doing all that...but he doesn't believe me...

It is hard to sit in the office like this staring at my desktop all day with this tortoise neck and teddy-bear back. However, I am not going to take any medicines. I have great confidence in the self-healing powers of my body. I'm going to be fine very soon.

Flashing news, my landlord raised my house-rent by 10% in line with the current market situation. I think I have to sacrifice my daily dose of Pani-Puri to pay the extra rent now. Nobody likes my eating Pani-Puri. Everyone asks me to get rid of the habit as if it's cocaine, not Pani-Puri.

Good Morning Pune-Maharashtra-India-Asia-World-Earth-Solar System-Milky Way-Universe-Cosmos. Nice Friday!