India - in Europe !!!

This morning, I checked what's written about India on wikipedia. The very first line surprized me. It says: The Republic of India (Hindi: Bhaarat Ganaraajya), commonly known as India, is a country in Europe. Click Here to read the complete article. Since the site is a Wiki, I think this error will be fixed by someone very soon. Also, a lot more information can be added in there about India. I may think about doing that some time, 'if mood strikes'. You can do it too!

CHEERS!!!

A few days back, I started the second innings of my drinking career. The motto this time is "Responsible Drinking". It started with my B'day treat on the 2nd of March. No, it wasn't my b'day really. I wanted to go on a treat, and nobody else was game to sponsor it. So I preponed my own b'day treat. I drank less than what I am capable of drinking without getting high. A few days after that, I had one small peg of Smirnoff Vodka during lunch. That was like 'OOnth ke mOO mein jeera'. And today I had beer for a change - 2 pints of Haywards 5000. For the first time, beer chadh gayee. My hostel-mate Ankit Bhargav used to stay awake all night and do a lot of nautanki after drinking a can of beer, shouting 'piyela hai apun' and knocking on every door of the wing. Beer is never so strong. Neither is it tasty. Wonder why people drink the bitter liquid. "Bumps" was all Ankit used to get in return for his nautanki.

I have mentioned in one of my earlier posts - drunk and blogging - about how I started drinking. I also talked about how I gave millions of innovative gaalis to my first-year room-mate after having a mixture of a lot of neat whisky, vodka and whatever Jeetu mixed and gave me to drink. It was great. I would love to do that again. Kaash somebody could record all those gaalis. I do remember feebly what happened that night. My x-roomie had said "Sudhar ja saale, kya buddhon ki tarah rehta hai"...not sure why he said that...possibly coz I didn't have a girl-friend or because he was too jealous of my maturity...haha... I also got irritated by something Somnath said, but I don't remember what it was. That was the most heavily-drunk I ever got. The only occasion when I didn't know what I was doing and when I eventually even spewed the daaroo. I remember in bits and pieces, how I was taken back to the hostel, how I pretended not to be drunk in front of the watchmen (who knew anyway), how I was stripped to chaddi (has this word already been added to english dictionaries?) and made to sit under the tap by Jeetu. I remember all this in flashes. I was totally gone. I got up next afternoon to find myself in my underpants and my spects safely placed on my table. Got up and checked my email to find one from Bablu, my BTech Project guide, that I had to do a few more compaction tests on 70:30 Kaolin-Sand mixture.

On one occasion, I drank 5 large pegs of Smirnoff Vodka and started speaking some alien language. I did realize that I was talking some crap, but I had no control over what I was talking at that time and I also wasn't conscious enough to make any sense out of it.

Another horrible experience at daarubaazi was in the recently held pan-IIT meet. The daaroo was served free, in the ICICI building at the Bandra-Kurla Complex in Mumbai. The pan-IIT meet aimed to "Inspire, Involve, Transform" all IITians to work for India and thereby transform our country into a developed nation. Not sure how much of that purpose it attained, but there did happen a high level of Business Networking over there. Every delegate was charged Rs.2500/-. And in return for my 2500 bucks, I got to see the President - who talked about Carbon Nano Tubes, Lara Dutta - who gave fundaes on life to women, Nandan Nilekani, Shashi Tharoor - who spoke beautifully but ended up saying nothing useful, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar - who lives life very artfully, Pandit Hari Prasad Chaurasia - who was quite polite and smiled at a once-more from an ex-IITian and then said "Ok, we will play something", Shivamani - the drummer, Louis Banks, Shankar Mahadevan - breathless as always, Ehsan, Loy and many many entrepreneurs. I also got a Delegate's Kit which I lost. More on that later...

Most ex-IITians I met had started their own company. It was like either you had a company of your own, or you had to say you were willing to start one. Otherwise, you were a misfit in the event. One Sardar, who was a collector in Punjab asked me what I wanted to do. Without hesitating, I said "I want to Start up". On this, the Sardar gave me a wicked smile, as if after a long time he got someone to play Jhhingalala with. He asked me when I'd start. I said I was thinking and may be I'd start a company after doing MBA. He got my weak point. He almost shouted at me "Sochte rahoge to kuch nahi hoga, kood pado. Nandan ko dekho, usne itni badi company daal dee". He was probably referring to Nandan Nilekani. They must be langotiya yaars. He also criticized MBA's. "MBA's can only get you jobs in big companies. If you want to be an entrepreneur, MBA won't help you in any way". Then he gave me fundas about latest trends in business. He started talking about RFID tags which according to him was something I should think about. I pretended to be very interested in what he was talking. But, this may make you think I am stupid, I didn't know what RFID tags were. (Do many people know? It often happens with me - I don't know something and when I come to know of it, I find that everyone else knows it). I was scared that the sardar might ask me a question related to RFID tags. A guy, who was my junior during college days and who is now working in the US, was also sitting with me. He knew what RFID tags were, seemed to impress the Sardar by reacting with the right body movements, facial expressions and vocal sounds. He even added a few points to what the sardar was telling. The Sardar looked at me as if I was his prey. Lugai, a.k.a. Prashant Hiran was also sitting with me. I don't think he understood anything either. The Sardar gave me his card and went away.

I spoke to quite a few entrepreneurs during the 3-day event. One common suggestion that almost all of them gave was to get married. The logic was that if your wife earns, you can go around taking risks and starting companies. Well, that makes sense. Just make sure you put an RFID tag on your ass so that your wife can track you.

At the cocktail, I met a few very interesting guys - a sardar with a bunch of funny guys. I drank with them and we all shouted shit. Wonder who all of them were. That's the most interesting thing about drinking. You drink and then you do all kinds of bakwaas with guys whom you've never met before, and then you talk all personal things and crack stupid jokes like the closest pals, but in the end you go away in different directions not to meet ever again.

I don't remember how I came back from the ICICI building, where the cocktail was organized, to the MMRDA grounds, where the pan-IIT event was taking place. The next scene after the ICICI building that I can recall being in, is that in which I was sitting in front of a literature professor of IIT Bombay. I faintly remember that as I enetered the venue, I saw her sitting with her husband. I went close to their table, asked for permission, and sat with them. I am polite even when drunk. I told her that I was pretty drunk and to pardon all my gustaakhis that she was soon going to witness. She said she was ok with it. Then I talked to her all through the dinner. Don't know what we talked. I did give her my blog's URL and also told her that I wanted to write a book and needed her help. I came to know that I also took her email id, as I found it in my pocket the next day. I had done an introductory course in English Literature in which she taught "Doll's House", the play by Ibsen. I told her that I had always thought she was a very strict prof, but now she seemed very frendly.

The prof finished her dinner and left with her husband. Lugai joined me with Amrish Acharya and another alumnus from IIT Bombay, 1984 passout. The alumnus was also very drunk. Lugai (who has never tasted daaroo) asked the alumnus the most common question at the event - "Who do you work for?", and he got the most common reply of the event too - "I work for myself", followed by "Do you have any problem?". Lugai would have run away, if he didn't have to pretend that he was unperturbed. After that the alumnus gave many fundas about women and starting companies. Sorry, I don't remember any.

After this, we went into the hall in which Shankar, Ehsan and Loy were performing. I didn't hesistate the least bit and started dancing. Daaroo is great if you want to get rid of your shyness. Lugai was still standing far from the stage, he was still too shy to dance. I danced like a mad man for about 30 mins. In the end, when the stars had left, one Sardar took the mike and sang a song on friendship and good times. Everyone was clapping and applauding him. I also felt like singing, so I requested for the mike. I got it.

Kishore Kumar's "Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna" is normally the first song that comes to mind on any senti occasion. I felt a kind of competition with the Sardar. So I had to sing the best I could. But as I started singing, I realized that daaroo had badly choked my throat, and my voice was badly cracking. But I had never sung with more energy. I was singing and also dancing in front of 1000 people who were standing still. That for me is an unimaginable thing to do in a normal state.

One of my biggest worries as I was singing was whether I'd be able to recall the whole song in such state as I was in. Still, I started and went on singing. At the end of each line, I tried to recall the next line and there it was on my lips. I sang the whole song without a stop or confusion anywhere. I'd say, singing wise, it was my worst singing performance, and after half the song, quite a few in the hall started feeling disinterested, some got irritated, some turned to go out. But I totally enjoyed singing that night. It was the first time I could dance alone without worrying about anyone else, without any mental inhibitions and sing the loudest I could. After I finished the song, I started to say "Thank you dear friends, I know I am drunk, but It's fun to be with you all, and I will always remember this day". Something like that, but I had barely started, in fact said it till "I know", when the mike was plugged out. I felt a little embarrassed. Everyone stared at me for a while as if I was a mad man doing clumsy things in front of the elite. For a while, I couldn't figure out whether to be happy or upset. But it takes a lot of effort to concentrate well enough to stay confused while you are drunk.

As I was coming out of the hall some of my friends patted my back and said "Koi Nai, Accha Gaaya"...why were they confused? Soon after I came out, I found that I didn't have my "Delegate's Kit" with me. Don't know where I'd left it - ICICI building, dinner table, somewhere on the roads, or the hall in which Shankar, and later I performed. So after paying 2500 bucks I didn't have anything to carry back home. The Delegate's Kit consisted of a few useless books and one T-Shirt placed in a nice executive bag. I was sad at having lost the T-Shirt and the bag. I felt a sudden bout of kleptomania as I was walking out of the venue.

The huge loss made me want to quit drinking. I made resolutions as well. But then, drinking is fun, if done responsibly and within limits. So "responsible and not-too-frequent" drinking is the way to go from now on!

Had 2 pints of beer during the lunch hour today! It's been great working in the office after that! I did some great coding too! Also had my performance appraisals! Boss said "Great Job Done"!

The World is Flat

Nandan Nilekani told Thomas Friedman that 'hey, the world is getting flat'. Thomas Friedman went home and wrote a book on that topic titled "The World is Flat". I don't mean to differ from Nandan Nilekani or Thomas Friedman in any way. They are both very intelligent men. I'd say, the book is a 'must read' if one wants to comprehend the way Globalization is changing our planet, and our lives. Many other popular writers and journalists have come up with imitations of Thomas Friedman's work, but none of them could match the alacrity and attention to detail in Friedman's narrative which virtually touched upon all the aspects of Globalization.

India is one of the countries which have gained tremendously because of Globalization; mainly the IT, BPO and Manufacturing industries. It has generated employment for India's huge educated population and has thereby raised the living standards of millions. But then, there's a far more huge uneducated, illiterate population that's struggling to catch up.

India is a land of contradictions. It is famously said about India that for anything that is true about it, the opposite is also equally true. I think the image below says it all. I took it from inside an aeroplane as it was taking off from the Mumbai Airport.

Lets Play Cricket

India lost its first match to Bangladesh in the World Cup. It found it hard to overcome the Bangladeshi youngsters. And on the same day, Pakistan lost to Ireland. Bob Woolmer, the Pakistani coach, died of a cardiac arrest. And Inzamam Ul Haq declared his retirement from One Day International Cricket.

These are some interesting happenings over the past few days in the World Cup. I normally don't watch cricket. I used to, when I was in school. But all those match-fixing scandals unearthed a few years back totally turned me away from it. But the India-Bangladesh match on saturday rejuvenated my interest in watching cricket. I was amazed to see the underdogs win. I am not very patriotic when I watch matches. I like to see a good game. And for me, a good game is one in which the weaker side fights hard, performs its best and finally defeats the stronger side. Yes, the result does matter.

I used to be a great cricketer. Really! Though it's long time since I played, I think I can still play very well if I try. I was an all-rounder. I batted with great technique, learnt by watching matches on TV for hours. Nobody else in my team could play the Sweep. I was also a medium-fast bowler. Tried spin once, but the ball stopped turning after one month of spin-bowling. I was the only one in my team who never did pathra (like throwing a stone - patthar) bowling, though because of this, I had to compromise a little on the pace that I could generate. And I was also the only one in my team who dived and took catches. I watched Mohinder Amarnath's lessons on DD to learn how to catch the ball in the right way. I also used a heavy bat, just like Sachin, though we had one light bat also (2 bats for two batsmen at the striking and non-striking ends. One bat was put down and used as a creeze at the bowler's end when we played without a runner). I was a pinch hitter, trying to hit every ball to the boundary. Tennis ball, though. I was well known for my technique.

I started playing cricket very early, when I was in my KG classes. I remember arguing with Mannu, the pados ka bigda baccha, that I should be allowed to bat first coz I was the only one wearing a full-pant, and in "actual Cricket", everyone wears a full pant. Everybody agreed after a few minutes of argument and I was allowed to bat first. I know it was a stupid argument - Effect of remnants of stupidity from my previous birth...showed up often when I was very small. Even now they do. But now I don't realize when and how often.

My friends and I got our preliminary Cricket lessons by watching it on TV and we got heavily misled because of that. For example, on TV, the pitch is normally shown longitudinally, with the camera over the side-screens, as the bowler bowls and the batsman faces him. But in this view, the pitch looks very small. So for a few years during my primary-school-days, we used to play on a pitch almost one-third of the normal size. We used to play with a plastic ball and a small bat which Hitesh Chikate had bought. The wickets were 2 stones placed about 2 feet apart. If the ball went over the gap between them, the batsman was out. And when there was confusion about the height the ball went at, the issue was settled by argument...the little Argumentative Indians. 2 more stones were used to indicate wides.

All except me did pathra bowling even in those days. We hardly knew any english at that time. All we knew was the alphabet and a few poems learnt by heart which we didn't understand the least bit. So we mistook "spin" to mean "fast-bowling" coz the word "spin" sounds like that. So most of us did "spin" bowling. On such a small pitch, it was hard to face fast-bowling. But we practiced a lot and became experts at hitting plastic balls thorwn fast. Hitesh was the only guy who played almost as good as I did. In fact, he and I were the only two permanent members of the team. The rest kept changing. He was a passionate player. Sometimes he used to spend hours bowling at a wall. He was a good right-hand batsman and bowler. But something made him want to be a lefty. He practiced left-hand bowling and batting for months. He was crazily dedicated to becoming a lefty. Finally he could manage decent left-handed batting and bowling. But that affected his right-handed performance.

Our first match was against RTS Colony. My classmate Javed lived there and challenged us on behalf of his team. Their team was more experienced and had played baaji matches with many colonies. All our team members were very excited. It was going to be our first match! But we all refused to pay for a baaji match. In a baaji match, the losing team has to pay a fixed amount of money to the winning team. The RTS guys agreed to have a non-baaji match considering the fact that we were all inexperienced kids. We also asked them to bring wickets, bats and balls, since we didn't have wickets, had only one plastic ball and our bat was humiliatingly small and broken here and there.

On the evening fixed for the match, all the players in our team reached the ground pretty early. We all wore our school-shoes - the white ones that we used to wear for school on saturdays. Some of us wore full pants too. We discussed our strategies - that we will do "spin" bowling, hit all the balls and win the game. There were 5 guys in our team. Javed and his team arrived. They had six wickets which they fixed, 3 on each side of the pitch. We got scared by looking at the length of the pitch. We protested. But then a big guy from our colony who knew the RTS colony guys said that that was the right length for a pitch. We got it reduced a little bit, by persistent protesting, but it was still double the length that we were used to playing on. They fixed the boundaries too far. They started laughing when we told them about the roads and trees that used to serve as boundaries for our daily games. They fixed some other trees and roads, that were double the distance we had been using. It was as if suddenly the whole ground we used to play on was magnified by a scale of 2 and we had to play on it. Some of the RTS guys were double our sizes.

We won the toss. And like with all normal kids, we were eager to bat. It was a 5-over game. Our innings were a huge mess. We couldn't lift the bats the RTS guys had brought coz they were too heavy, we couldn't face their "spin" (fast) bowling, and we had no concept of actual spin bowling, which some of the RTS bowlers did. And the "Dog" ball was a lot quicker than our plastic balls. We were also not used to playing with runners at the non-striker's end. We were 5 players in all. And in 1.5 overs, we were all-out for 5 runs. It was a shock. Hitesh and I were very disappointed. The RTS guys were telling our colony's big guy that our team didn't know how to play Cricket.

Hitesh and I decided that our "spin" bowling had to be at its best if we had to win. I started the first over, but the match was over in 2 balls - one four, one wide and one two. There were no runs for wide balls. The "Dog" ball was so much heavier than our plastic ball and the pitch so long, even I had to do pathra bowling so that the ball reached the other end.

It was disappointing. But we learnt many things about how to play cricket and made all those corrections in our game. As I grew up, Hitesh also grew up and so did many other kids in my colony. We started playing with bigger kids. Now with tennis balls, longer pitches, wickets and bats of standard sizes. We played many baaji matches later under Kakku, our Sardar Captain who used to get pocket money from home which he invested in baaji matches. I never gave a penny. Kakku was great. He never asked us for money. Though we did win a few of those matches, we lost more.

Kakku thought I had great abilities, and wanted me to be a vice-captain. But I often revolted against him for silly reasons which hurt him coz he was an emotional guy. One such revolt split our team altogether. That was unfortunate. We never got together again.

After 10th Standard, I stopped playing outdoor games that involved running around. You can guess the reason. Besides, my interest in sports decreased and that in music increased. I grew a little fat too because of this.

But for as long as I played, I enjoyed the game very much. I will always remember some of my innings. Like once, I hit a lot of sixes and fours and was not-out. And once, in a baaji match, I opened the innings with a six and was caught in the very next ball. I was feared by all batsman during the one month when my balls used to spin by 60 degrees. The wonderful dives in grass are unforgettable. In 10th Standard, I got a chance to play with cork balls - the actual cricket balls. Since we used to play without pads, gloves and guards, we used to bowl slowly. That gave enough time for batsman to follow all techniques and hit nice shots with perfect placement. I was very good at Square-Cuts, Down-the-Wicket Shots and Glances. I practiced a lot to be able to Sweep. It was a great experience. Though I hurt myself on a few occasions, I never had a major injury.

Those were great times. I wish I could bring them back. It was so much fun. May be all of us at o3 can get together sometime for a cricket tournament. I will bat first! Maine pehle bola.

some call it a layered tag...

Another one taken from Sindhu. Phew, too many girlish questions here.


Layer One

Name: Yellapantula Venkata Sridhar
Birth date: 9th April
Birthplace: Bilaspur
Current location: Pune
Eye color: Black
Hair color: Whatever is left is black...everywhere
Height: 5-9
Righty or lefty: Righty
Zodiac sign: Aries


Layer Two

Your heritage: Indian
The shoes you wore today: Green Woodland Shoes
Your weakness: When I smile I look sad, cannot scold, also am a little shy and very confused
Your fears: Being proposed
Your perfect pizza: Don't like Pizza
Goal you’d like to achieve: To be one of the travellers to the Moon in India's Moon-Mission-2020


Layer Three

Your most overused phrase on IM: hey
Your first waking thoughts: Can't write here
Your best physical feature: My eyes
Your most missed memory: School Days


Layer Four

Pepsi or coke: Coke
McDonald’s or Burger King: McDonald's...never been to the latter
Single or group dates: Single
Adidas or Nike: Neither, I like Woodland
Lipton ice tea or Nestea: Neither. Coffee, Protinex or Horliks
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino


Layer Five

Smoke: Once
Cuss: Only when I'm alone and talking to myself
Sing: A lot
Take a shower everyday: Twice
Do you think you’ve been in love: Yes
Want to go to college: Yes
Liked high school: Yes, a lot
Want to get married: Yes
Believe in yourself: Yes
Get motion sickness: No
Think you’re attractive: Yes. Ladkiyaan mujhe resist nahi kar paati - one of my favourite dilogs during college days
Think you’re a health freak: Opposite of that
Get along with your parent(s): Very well...Love them more than anyone or anything else in the world
Like thunderstorms: Yes, I enjoy them
Play an instrument: Want to, a Guitar


Layer Six (in the past month...)

Drank alcohol: Yes
Smoked: No
Done a drug: Never
Made out: Never :-(
Gone on a date: No
Gone to a mall: Yes
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: No - Bhaarat ka rehne wala hoon, Bhaarat ke biscuit khata hoon
Eaten sushi: Never
Been on stage: No
Been dumped: No
Gone skating: Never
Made home-made cookies: No (btw, these home-made cookies are supposed to be made by me at my home, right?)
Dyed your hair: No
Stolen anything: No


Layer Seven

Age you hope to be married: 28 Number and names of children: One girl...plz suggest some name
Describe your dream wedding: What a girlish question and what a silly thing to dream about! I'd rather dream about the post-wedding times. Still, to answer the question, a dream wedding wud be a court marriage - sign papers and done...no om-swaha headaches
How do you want to die: Smiling, with all my loved ones around...a painless death
Where do you want to go to college: College days are over, don't want them back
What do you want to be when you grow up: Nothing
What country would you most like to visit: First I want to travel all over India


Layer Eight

Number of drugs taken illegally: 0
Number of people you could trust your life with: Too Many to number
Number of cds that you own: 25-30
Number of piercings: 0
Number of tattoos: 0
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: Once
Number of scars on my body: 2-3 may be, not sure...have never seen some parts of my body
Number of things in my past that I regret: 100

Being Punctual

Peru has decided that it is now going to get punctual. I had had the impression that it was only India that was infamous for showing disrespect to time. But I read this, and went through some latest news bulletins, and came to know that we Indians are far better than Peruvians in this regard. A lot begins on time in India these days. Many people do procrastinate in their personal lives but at a professional level, things are improving slowly and steadily. We are far more professional now and respect ours and others' time. There are reasons for this, of course - increasing competetion, pressure to grow, corporate culture, mature young population...

There is a hora peruana, or "Peruvian time", which usually means an hour late. It is very similar to the meaning we "normally" assign to "Indian Standard Time" a.k.a IST. I guess there are many in India who don't really know what IST actually stands for. I heard when I was small that most Bollywood actors in those days (1980's and 1990's) were never on time for shooting on the sets. The South Indian Film Industry was far more professional and all their stars used to come on time. Jitendra, my mom once told me, was an exception. She had read it in Swati, a telugu weekly Saparivaar Patrika. He always reached the sets on time. I wonder whether that was because most of the films he did those days were with South Indian Actresses, were for South Indian film-makers and were remakes of South Indian movies. He couldn't afford to be late when everyone else was on time. This is one reason why things refuse to change in Peru. People are late coz everyone is late. I mean, I won't go to a place on time when I know that everyone else is going to come an hour late; even if I am usually very punctual, or even if I really want to be punctual. It's a vicious circle. India is slowly coming out of it, thanks to the conducive circumstances. It's a slow process, however.

Laziness, Procrastination, etc. are natural to human beings. Sometimes people have genuine reasons for being late. Like for 2 years, during my 11th and 12th standard, I used to deliberately reach my school very late. The reason - I hated standing in my class's line in Sun during the assembly for the National Anthem. No problems with singing the National Anthem. It was just that standing in the sun exposed all my newly formed bald patches, and I hated that. So to avoid it, I used to go late. Sometimes standing in lines was unavoidable. In those situations, I used to stand at the very end of the line. Though I was not tall enough to deserve that place and we were arranged in increasing order of height, I used to fight for it, and manage it on most occasions. It was creepy to have someone taller behind you looking at your head. And what if he sees everything and then goes and tells all others what he saw? And some adjacent lines used to be longer, as they had more people in their classes. Couldn't do anything about those :-(. Anyway, coming back, no one had problems even if I went late. So I did that until I passed out. I'd say, when going late is a strategic decision, like mine in 11th and 12th, it is understandable :D

The problem is very deep-rooted, both in India and in Peru. For example, in Peru, it is even considered rude to be punctual for parties. So in a way, people have started respecting late-comers and are disdainful of punctuality and punctual people. It's become like a religious teaching - you tell a follower of that religion that the teaching is wrong and crap, and you'll only infuriate him, although any rational individual can easily discern right from wrong; but most people are not rational. Some can even become terrorists and kill people, but will never understand something that is pretty obvious. Look at the dowry system in India. Will it ever stop completely?

Now the Peruvian Government rings bells and alarms and asks its people to synchronize their clocks to remind them that they have to be on time. I appreciate the initiative of such a big scale. It would be interesting to see how much it changes the attitudes of the Peruvian people who believe that being not-punctual is right and so are not at all sorry to whoever has problems with it. Peru is a democracy. So for such measures to be effective it is essential to make people realize that there's something wrong with being late. The Peruvian government seems to be ringing all its bells pretty loud. Let's see for how long it echoes.