The US Elections

Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton have together made America look like a dysfunctional democracy. Given both their records of questionable integrity, sadly a 2-party 2-candidate election highlights and magnifies everything about the candidates a little too much. In India you can get away with it by just talking about parties till everything's over and the winning party can choose any Prime Ministerial candidate out of the elected lot, and even non-elected ones who seem qualified enough, the winning bit can be arranged later. Clearly we have different versions of the democratic framework with India focusing more on parties and the parliament, and the US more on the person and the Presidential position.

When politicians in India speak, there is nothing clear and concrete in terms of policy or stands on various things. They dwell more on patriotic and nationalistic hyperbole, poetry and emotional appeal. And then we have commonalities with America with all the weaker sections in society, minorities and divisions like religion and caste - with issues of much greater scale and magnitude in India than in any other nation. But the younger generation in India is smart and filters what matters to them, which is generally nothing of what's talked about. In that madness, Modi offered 'growth', with some demonstrable experience, and he's the PM now.

In the US they pretend to be getting more into depth on policy, but I realized there's hardly any content behind all the blabber. Things are said at a very high level. For example this is what Trump stands for - cut taxes, build a wall, no immigration, ban Muslims, repeal and replace Obamacare with a cheaper alternative, protect right to keep guns, restrict abortion, respect women more than anybody and send Hillary to jail. And there are hours and hours of speeches with just this much info and with lots of crap thrown all over. Hillary stands for the following - no tax cuts, state got no business in abortion decisions, immigration - may be, fix Obamacare, guns - not saying no, and Trump is xenophobic, misogynist, sex-maniac, sexual offender, tax-evader, cheap and idiot. Not sure this is a fair summary, but I don't care - I am sure this post is not going to change the minds of those 'undecided' voters. I am no James Comey, and this is no new info. Blogs have become a part of the media... and media can say anything, including create a fake poll and express biased opinions. (It's unfortunate but the only American news channel we get on Tata Sky is CNN.)

Speaking of 'undecided' voters, while looking at this from a distance - at least 13 hours if it is a direct flight, I find it extremely funny that you pick a bunch of idiots, tag them 'undecided' coz they say so, get polls out of them before and after showing them scary videos of an orange-faced rich molester and a smart/stupid lady, hurling abuses at each other - the former more than the latter, and discuss the results for hours like it really means something. I would hope Americans were less stupid than that... not the undecided voters, of course - they are smart, they know how to come on TV.

I feel guilty and embarrassed at going on and on about the US elections while I have little clue about the current political dynamics in India, in spite of the fact that I am neither in the US nor am I an American, although it's possible I could be affected to slight or significant degree by the outcome of these elections. I fear becoming like those angrez Indians in India who know more about America than they do about India. But then I realize that most of my tastes, likes, preferences and curiosity is strictly Indian and about India, and also that I don't know the names of a lot of States in the US and have not seen many Hollywood movies - and I feel better. I still follow the American elections these days as it entertains me like a reality show, similar to how crap like Big Boss are entertaining. But being part of an increasingly globalized and interconnected world, it also makes sense that we do follow these elections, as America and its policies affect our lives in very direct ways - in our jobs, stock markets, trade, etc. And one of these 2 jokers in competition will be powerful enough to affect a lot of shit going on in the world. Whoever wins, the world is definitely going to be funnier.

Trump vs Hillary - Presidential debate in a few hours

In a few hours we have the presidential debate between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. While I am a fan of neither of them, and why would I give a shit about American elections anyway - I watch only for entertainment, I find these direct debates live on camera between candidates competing in elections a very great practice. It needs lot of courage, meticulous preparation and mental strength for a candidate to be able to take that. One can of course blow it up, but it's unlikely after reaching that level after winning many such debates with other competitors in the primaries. Like a good boxing match, there is lot of punching, offence and defense. And it's fun to watch. A lot of questions are quite direct and as the whole world is watching, you can't bullshit your way into the white house, i.e., in a relative sense only. I say relative coz there could be situations where neither of the candidates has really worked out clear stands on issues and policies, and both are just farting random shit. And in that situation, the one that sounds less insane would win - the debate, at least.

While I was writing the last line, I realized how futile these dabates can be from the point of view of deciding the electability of the candidates. One way to look at these is as reality-shows telecast on TV at prime time meant only for TRPs, entertainment and the linked revenue for engaged parties. But then, they do affect viewers' opinions about the candidates and it wouldn't be totally untrue to say a lot of voters may be influenced by the outcome of a presidential debate. Its very nature is quite unique as it brings the candidates side-by-side on the same stage and the viewers see them taking each other head on.

In the last elections if was fun watching the Obama vs Mit Romney debate. Romney never seemed very clear in his economic policy, and like a good consultant - having had a strong BCG foundation - he kept talking stuff that had more volume - both in space and vibration terms - and less sense. I am not sure Obama made much sense either... but that didn't matter coz he spoke so well!

Now we have Trump and Hillary - neither of them good orators, neither has a clean image and neither has the charisma to evoke respect that's irrespective of what they talk. Will Trump call his opponent 'Crooked Hillary' on her face? Will there be some clear talk or random gyaanbaazi? Let's see.

Wish we had these things in India. There was a time a few years back when Arvind Kejriwal invited, rather challenged, even Modi ji for a public debate. And many others too during the IAC fights for Lokpal bill. But nobody ever accepted those challenges. We know some readers may be getting furious at the mention of Kejriwal in a bit of a positive light and Modi in somewhat negative, and many would retort saying Modi has better things to do than to take a challenge from an idiot (his image at the moment, apparently) like Kejriwal who isn't qualified for a debate... bla bla... But that was not the point here... To give another example, just to dilute the hormones of Kejriwal haters and Modi lovers, our Mr. Smartass Arnab Goswami also called for debates between prime ministerial candidates during elections - with he as the moderator of course, asking all the tough questions. But nobody gave a shit. Perhaps, our leaders just don't want to set a precedent that they might later regret having to do these debates in every election thereafter. Besides, our elections are technically between parties, not people. And party stand is published or formally issued when required.

Anyway, it's already 1 am... I've to get up early to watch the debate... It's at 6.30 AM IST today i.e., 27th September 2016. Good night! Sweet Dreams!

Update - 30th Sept 2016:

The debate was one of the worst I've ever seen. Neither candidates had much to say, except some basic stuff like economy and jobs throwing numbers loosely, and a lot of mud-slinging on each other. Neither of the candidates had much concrete to say about what they were offering. Trump said tax cuts will fix everything and Hillary said tax increases will fix everything - this was perhaps the only clear statement either made on their economic policy and points of view. And neither had much of a basis apparently. One can of course argue with sufficient evidence that most economic policies based on gut feel work as good as those worked out scientifically. Perhaps even better at times. The world is fooled by randomness indeed.

So, this debate was an hour and a half of crap talk. And yet one of the candidates was declared a winner - Hillary Clinton to be specific - while it is noteworthy that the basis for her victory was not her eligibility for being the President, but was the fact that she outsmarted and out-spoke Trump quite well and very clearly. Trump, on the other hand was struggling to attack Hillary and kept failing in the absence of strong prepared and rehearsed content.

But one thing is quite clear to me after following the Obama-Romney and Trump-Hillary debates - these are no great debates, and are mostly full of finger pointing and nonsense arguments - much like the Newshour Debates of Arnab Goswami. And the quality of issues which become election game changers are as cheap in the US as they are in India. In many ways we have less pretence and more indulgent bull-shitting in India, and so we don't even bother about things like fact-checking and policy stands. The entertainment bit is handled better in the US in my view. In all this, democracy shows up as a neat hoax, but everyone wants to believe it's all by the people, for the people and of the people. Good if that makes people happy in whatever form it is.

Brexit and Trump

Like all minds, mine also keeps working and thinking all kinds of crap, which most of the time is worthy of being posted on this blog - given the kind of standards I have set for it - but typing those down in a way that I also sound smart and literate requires a lot of mental preparedness which we call mood, which I get very rarely, although even when it comes, it is debatable whether I really sound all that.

That was a really long British kind of a sentence, which reminds me of the hottest gossip of the world at the moment - Brexit. What a funny term it is - I can launch a biscuit with this name that is also a bread, the brown one, and also has some x - my secret ingredient - to make a delicious yummy and tasty Brexit. I don't know what I need to do to copyright this idea... but like those idiots do on facebook to protect their privacy - I hereby declare the above mentioned idea as mine, and anybody who copies will have to pay me money of the order negotiable based on my mood during negotiation.

They say Brexit will lead to the next recession. And it will be real bad, I hear. And looking at David Cameron's face these days, I can tell he's sitting in an exam he hasn't studied for. The vibes are all negative if you hear world news. I don't know how big a dent one bunch of countries - a 'kingdom' it is called - ruled by a queen who also doesn't seem to have a clue on what's going on - can have on the whole world. But history tells us they are really capable of screwing everyone for their own survival. Anyhow, if I lose my job because of all this shit, I will start calling myself an entrepreneur to sound cool. And tag myself a CEO for some time, so that whoever hires me (after the Brexit is poop) considers me in higher league and makes me top management - a VP or something.

There's another mess waiting to spread all over. It's called Trump. Now although Trump sounds to me like an underwear brand - for males - this is really a guy, whose face resembles those fat dogs who look like they are smiling like humans do, but they are really just trying to spit out all the shit inside coz their ass is so choked and constipated.

This guy - Trump - talks nonsense like it makes sense, and sometimes it does. I am not the one to worry too much about sense, though, as long as I am getting entertained...  I bear Bhalla parivar in ye hain mohabbatein, for example, and never complain. But please don't judge me... I have a right to get entertained by any crap. For your information I did stop watching Sasural Simar ka when it became too meaningless. So I too have some limits you see.

A lot of people say Trump will screw the world. And like Brexit, he will also be chosen by people. How ironic! But if he indeed makes it to the white house, and if the world really gets more messy, especially for Indians in IT like me, I will have some more time as the CEO I plan to become if laid off. I may make it big too if I persist enough. My pani-puri thhela will be my office and assembling plant. And the product shipped right into customers mouths through steel carriers - with onions and sev - in customers' hands. And customer takes over the product logistics after it's shipped to the plate. FOB price of Rs.20 for 6 units. Again - I hereby declare this idea as mine, and anybody who copies will have to pay me money of the order negotiable based on my mood during negotiation.