Brexit and Trump

Like all minds, mine also keeps working and thinking all kinds of crap, which most of the time is worthy of being posted on this blog - given the kind of standards I have set for it - but typing those down in a way that I also sound smart and literate requires a lot of mental preparedness which we call mood, which I get very rarely, although even when it comes, it is debatable whether I really sound all that.

That was a really long British kind of a sentence, which reminds me of the hottest gossip of the world at the moment - Brexit. What a funny term it is - I can launch a biscuit with this name that is also a bread, the brown one, and also has some x - my secret ingredient - to make a delicious yummy and tasty Brexit. I don't know what I need to do to copyright this idea... but like those idiots do on facebook to protect their privacy - I hereby declare the above mentioned idea as mine, and anybody who copies will have to pay me money of the order negotiable based on my mood during negotiation.

They say Brexit will lead to the next recession. And it will be real bad, I hear. And looking at David Cameron's face these days, I can tell he's sitting in an exam he hasn't studied for. The vibes are all negative if you hear world news. I don't know how big a dent one bunch of countries - a 'kingdom' it is called - ruled by a queen who also doesn't seem to have a clue on what's going on - can have on the whole world. But history tells us they are really capable of screwing everyone for their own survival. Anyhow, if I lose my job because of all this shit, I will start calling myself an entrepreneur to sound cool. And tag myself a CEO for some time, so that whoever hires me (after the Brexit is poop) considers me in higher league and makes me top management - a VP or something.

There's another mess waiting to spread all over. It's called Trump. Now although Trump sounds to me like an underwear brand - for males - this is really a guy, whose face resembles those fat dogs who look like they are smiling like humans do, but they are really just trying to spit out all the shit inside coz their ass is so choked and constipated.

This guy - Trump - talks nonsense like it makes sense, and sometimes it does. I am not the one to worry too much about sense, though, as long as I am getting entertained...  I bear Bhalla parivar in ye hain mohabbatein, for example, and never complain. But please don't judge me... I have a right to get entertained by any crap. For your information I did stop watching Sasural Simar ka when it became too meaningless. So I too have some limits you see.

A lot of people say Trump will screw the world. And like Brexit, he will also be chosen by people. How ironic! But if he indeed makes it to the white house, and if the world really gets more messy, especially for Indians in IT like me, I will have some more time as the CEO I plan to become if laid off. I may make it big too if I persist enough. My pani-puri thhela will be my office and assembling plant. And the product shipped right into customers mouths through steel carriers - with onions and sev - in customers' hands. And customer takes over the product logistics after it's shipped to the plate. FOB price of Rs.20 for 6 units. Again - I hereby declare this idea as mine, and anybody who copies will have to pay me money of the order negotiable based on my mood during negotiation.

Startup India, Standup India

Startup India, Standup India - seems like India is now promoting both startups and standup comedy in a big way! What if it really did? Firstly, to make a joint pitch for the two - sort of bundling products - there has to be some logical connection. For one, startup founders would make good standup comedians in my view - they all talk a lot, they all take pride in thinking crazy, and most of them are extroverts. And if they are guaranteed good money, they'd definitely jump in. The second connection that might be looked at, is some crazy babu going by this line of thinking - if the government were to act like a VC, and had to entertain these startups for funding or whatever, then it has to be entertained in return. So these entrepreneurs have to perform some standup comedy. It may seem weird the first time you think about it, but it would soon start making sense. Anyone who has seen the program Shark Tank on TV - where entrepreneurs stand in front of investors and make their pitch - would know that the imagery is not very different, although the content and nature of discourse is. But as we can imagine, government officials don't think and act like conventional investors. They'd any day enjoy some standup comedy more than boring and unintelligible discussions on top-lines, bottom-lines, equity and shit like that. And once the comedy session is done, they can discuss some other lines over chai-samosa.

The vision of the government is amazingly supportive of entrepreneurship, and like never before. And, as one of my friends said soon after Modiji announced the incentives for startups, if we are not starting up even now, we probably never will. Although the incentives may not be practically of the kind and scale that would make it a cakewalk for millions of Indians, the positivity of outlook and supportive policies can make all the difference.

I am reading The Lean Startup by Eric Ries. Have finished only 43.9% of it so far in 3 weeks - quite slow by any standards. I don't know how, I've lost my habit of reading. Just like I got it 2004 from nowhere. May be it'll come back. Anyway... The book is about the right approach for building startups - the lean way - avoiding wastage of time, money and other resources. It talks about quickly building MVPs (minimum viable products) out of ideas, testing them out on samples of the target audience, testing alternatives, comparing, trashing, improving, developing, launching, testing more, improving more, and going on like that iteratively. It says - don't just go on to develop the full product thinking you know the customers want it; rather develop pieces of it to try out the concept and get feedback... and do that continuously to reach higher levels of learning and product maturity. This makes a lot of sense in theory. But execution in this manner requires tremendous alignment of thought process with the theory. I have to know more to see if it works. May be I should test this approach and see where it takes me. But there's higher risk the approach would fail for me if I don't "believe" in it at the outset. It's like trying to reach god while being an agnostic deep down. The lack of belief in the goal or the path to it will always prevent you from applying 100% of yourself behind the goal. Anyhow, I have not taken thheka to prove Eric Ries right or wrong. If his method doesn't work for me, I'll figure out what works for me and proceed. More important is that I have to get my startup moving and scaling up.

First things first... I will start practicing standup comedy from today. Wish me luck...

See you soon!

May be...

Being from these elite institutes of the country puts a great pressure on you to do something that the world admires. Especially in times like now when lots of young guys and girls fresh out of college are starting interesting ventures. Many are failing of course, but we are told that's part of the game. As this new breed is sweeping the business world, people my age are wondering how to catch up. But most of us would soon behave like all older generations - claim respect just coz we have some gray hair! And gulp all ego.. and, while the heart gently weeps, work for these youngsters who are clearly not as smart as we are... come on, elders are allowed to think that way about those younger :)

I myself have had dreams, most of which I forced myself to see, of owning and running companies. And discussing such ideas, or thoughts about ideas which don't come, is one of the most favorite topics of gossip among most people in their 20's and 30's in urban India. The other hot topics being girls and sex for guys, and guys and relationships for girls! (Well, I am just guessing for the latter.) Right now I am part of 2 whatsapp groups where startups keeps coming up as a topic. One is of my friends from IIT and the other is of my friends from IIM, The IITians seem to have more interest in anything related to entrepreneurship - which I can safely generalize about all IITians, as can be seen even from the large number of founder CEOs who are IIT alumni. But not many who are IIM alumni (IIT+IIM not considered under IIM). A very basic reason for that is the culture in these institutes. In the 4 years at IIT, we hear the word Entrepreneur so much that many IITians get inclined to adopt that as the way to go about in life. In the 2 years at IIM, all we hear to that extent are "CV", "Resume", "CV Point", "CGPA", "Job", "Globe" etc. etc. And so all most MBAs want to do is make a good CV, get a high paying job and "globe" their way to the top! And therefore, drawing an inference here from the general observation, in my whatsapp group with friends from IIM, conversations on entrepreneurship lack any real masala.

Anyhow, this bug - entrepreneurship - just flies around without biting me. I am not sure if startup CEO life is what I want. Sometimes I feel these things have been stereotyped too much, to create an unnecessary psychological differentiation where none exists. May be things are not too different either way. May be the barriers to entry into that world which are mostly mental are created by its inhabitants to make themselves sound cool and their achievements too big for common people to aspire for, But then, I am obviously not qualified to say all this as I've never even stepped into that land and felt it for real. I take back what I said... will say it again after I experience it myself and if I ever do. I find this funny - taking back something said and recorded... but since it's considered a legitimate way of striking invalid communications, let's abuse it!!!

The thought of creating stuff that the world finds useful - makes their life easy or fun - is quite exciting. For lazy people, the excitement lies in the thought itself and in nothing beyond that! A true entrepreneur, I feel, should theoretically be a doer, and should love execution more than ideation. Is that true? For great thinkers, there are ways in which thinking itself can be something that can influence the way the world works and even earn money for them. Lazy people have ways to be doers in the world of today. I think I am somewhere in the mid-point in this matrix of traits - thinker, doer, lazy - perhaps a state many call the comfort zone. Probably need to stretch in some of the dimensions, and add an element of risk - may be, I can be an entrepreneur too!