Aishwara Abhishek Engaged

Finally Ahishek Bacchan proposes and Aishwarya instantly says yes. And the very next moment they get engaged. I can imagine how all this must have happened. First the B and R families got together and decided let's do it publicly, it's time to declare. Abhishek, Aishwarya and Amitabh must have rehearsed some fundoo dialogues and expressions etc. Jaya aunty must have practiced some crying and hugging. Sad she got no dialogues.

Then in the middle of the party, when everyone was talking about Gurukant Desai, Abhishek got down on his knees and shouted loud - Aishwarya, I love you...will you marry me? And Aishwarya said YES instantly with both her palms covering her nose - Miss World Style. She tried to cry, tears were not coming out. Then Abhishek pulled a ring out of his pocket. Amitabh laughed a big HAHAHA. Jaya aunty also put both her hands on her nose, trying to copy Aish, and then cried loudly without opening her mouth EEEEEEEEENNNN. Luckily, she managed some tears. Then Aish held her hand forward to Abhishek. She first showed him the ganda finger which she had showed to 2 other guys previously. Abhishek got scared. He was about to cry. But he hadn't practiced this scene. So he was looking at big-B to get some tips on how to go ahead with this. Then Aish smiled and gave Abhishek her ring finger. He quickly pushed her finger into the ring. And he had clean-shaven today for what was the next to come. He kissed Aish right there. Aish was thinking ki Hritik was better. And Abhishek was thinking ki did she have fun? Was he better?

My blessings to the nav-engaged and soon vivaahit jodi. Kuch baatein ho chuki hain, kuch baatein abhi hain baaki. Bauchaar ek padi hai, barsaatein abhi hain baaki!!!

Women drive the Markets

According to a survey 93% of the youth in the cities prefer arranged marriage. I believe that everything in the market, right from what sells to the hottest trends, is driven by what women want. Though it is never very clear what women want, and it is also not possible that all women want same things, the market is definitely driven by a section of females. It may not represent the views of the majority, but it creates an environment where most others would want to follow. And women pull children and men with them. So if you please the female customers, the rest come automatically. That explains why Ham Aaapke Hain Kaun was such a big hit. During my childhood days at Bilaspur I noticed that a popular advertizing punchline for any movie or a sale was Mahilaaon ki Vishaal Bheed. I used to shift words and say Vishaal Mahilaon ki Bheed and laugh to myself.

The Controversial Gandhi Video

Curious about what the Gandhi video, which sparked a controversy, is all about, I decided to watch it. Thankfully Hindustan Times, in its article reporting that 2 Indian TV channels expressed regret for airing the video, also provided a link. The link was to Gautam Prasad's page and that has the link to the video.

The video titled "Time to get sexy" is of 3.24 min duration. It starts with Gautam Prasad, dressed like Gandhi, dancing on a Pubjabi Bhangra number in front of live audience. He's put a ball on his nose like a clown. He's worn a white dhoti and has another white clothe covering his top. Now as he dances, he first throws away the top white clothe...then takes off his dhoti...there's still one langoth (I've always wondered what's the correct spelling of this word). There is a pole in the middle of the hall in which this dance is shot. After he's free of his dhoti, Gautam now starts a pole-dance...making some obscene (and funny) gentures once in a while...like itching his ass...

I could not understand much of whatever happened in the last one minute of the video. The mime ended with Gandhi (played by Gautam) accidentally pulling the pole out of its base support. The pole falls down. Gandhi is totally flummoxed. Then he walks to where the audience are seated and pulls a guy up on stage. Then Gandhi goes and hides behind a door just behind the middle of the stage, peeping once in a while. And this guy from the audience seems confused too. He comes and fixes the pole back over its support and goes back. Then Gandhi comes out, stands near the pole and the video ends. All through the shoot, Gautam stood with a slight stoop and the legs bent a little at the knees...a posture depicting that of an old Gandhi.

I would say that the mime was definitely quite creative and artistically enacted and it would be pretty funny as well if watched live. I don't want to get into the rights and wrongs of creating a video like this or of doing such a mime in the first place. There are papers, politicians, and news channels to do all that. Let's talk about other things.

Gautam Prasad is a Bengalooru (a.k.a Bangalore!!!) born, Indian-Amrikan - just like my client. But guess what...Prasad went to US to become a clown, not a Software Engineer. Or may be, he became a clown by accident, or because he couldn't become anything else. But after working for 2 years as a clown in the most well-known circus in the US - Ringling Brothers, Prasad promoted himself as a stand-up comedian. He also performs as a clown in private events. May be this video was shot in one such event. And now he's become a Yoga teacher too! He's got a nice little web-site as well. I was happy to see his email id - it's on hotmail. Whatever be the reason he uses hotmail for, but the point is that he uses hotmail and so do I. And believe me...everyone - be it my friend or girl-friend...has something to advise me whenever I give him/her my email id. These days everyone suggests gmail. For me, it sucks. I mean gmail sucks. I never find the compose message option in it without searching for a long time. It doesn't have many other useful options. And the interface is so boring. I don't understand why people don't like hotmail. It's really cool.

The best part of Gautam's website is his biodata. It has 2 parts. A bakwaas one under Bio... and a serious one under But Seriously... I don't want to copy it here...do check it out...

New Year Resolutions

The reason I have not been blogging lately is that I was trying to preserve material for my Book. Yes, I have been trying to write a book. A novel. But as I wrote a couple of pages, I realized that blogging is entirely different from writing a novel or fiction. This might seem pretty obvious to many, but I have learnt it from experience. And it has been one wow of an experience. Over the past few days, one part of me has been fighting with the other part of mine. One says, WTF, just blog. Write whatever comes to u'r mind. The book is a long term affair. You cannot wait that long. Can you? And the other one is pretty determined on writing a book. Hey, just don't blog. All those ideas can somehow be put together in your book. That will help finish the book faster. And you are not paid, anyway, for blogging. Better to get the book out soon.

I listened to the second part of me for quite some time. But then, as I started working on my book, I found that it is a different cup of tea altogether. Just like a good writer need not necessarily be good in conversation or speaking abilities, and vice versa, so it is between blogging and writing hard-core literary stuff. Though there is a good overlap between blogging and novels or fiction in terms of the style, topics and presentation and there are many examples I can think of. The latter contradictory view forces me back to trying to produce a bigger work. So finally I make my mind to do both. That way I can appease both parts of me, which are figting each other all the time. And moreover, I have begun to feel that there can be no limit to creativity, thoughts and ideas. I can have both rolling at full speeds and with the richness that they deserve.

So, I have another to add to my list of New Year resolutions. This is the first time I've seriously made resolutions and I am seriously working on them too...

Here's the list:

- Quit Drinking
- Write A Novel
- Buid Body ASAP
- At Least One Blog Entry Per Day

I hope I am not forgetting any resolution :-)

12-29-2006

The buttons for 2 and 0 on the numberpad on the right of my keyboard have got stuck together. I often spill coffee on this keyboard and it starts behaving in unexpected ways. Now if you press 2, 0 also gets pressed...and vice versa...most of the coffee spills on the numberpad coz I normally keep my coffee mug on the right, just near the mouse...and as I have my coffee...the cup goes ding-dong as it travels over the key-board to my mouth...

Thanks to the nice coffee machines at my company, I drink a lot of coffee all day...7-8 extra-large cups...Patiyala...When I drink something, I like them to be large drinks...coffee, daaroo, whatever...Quit Drinking (Daaroo) - My New Year Resolution!!! It has been one for the past few new-years, but this time I'll quit for sure ;-) It's different this time! 2007...2+7=9, 9th April my B'day...lucky year for me...Numerology rocks!

A guy has newly joined my company. He sits in the cubicle next to me. It's 2 weeks since he joined...Whole day he does bakwaas on fone...hifi Managerial stuff...resource allocation, employee motivation, task allocation, scheduling, logistics, estimations...But I must appreciate his diligence. On his very first day, he got all his basic fundas cleared. For example, I finished 2 years in this company day-before-yesterday, and I still don't know how to check my voice mail. I think there are hundreds like me in my company. But on his very first day, this guy finds out who's responsible for what, calls them up, asks them for all kinds of instructions, eats their heads...may have appeared stupid that day...but in the end, he knows how to check his voice mail. Voice mail is just an example. There are many other more important and interesting things that he figured out on his very first day.

He loves using words like bottleneck and bottomline which few software engineers can make sense of. And he has a very chaapu style of talking to ladies. All guys have a style of their own of talking to ladies...style in terms of way of talking, word usage, accent, voice modulation, topics of conversation...depending on what their concept of what females want is. This guy seems really impressive in that department.

Right now he is discussing an important issue with a project manager on fone...Of course I can hear only my neighbour's side of the conversation. And yaar, he is so loud, I cudn't help it...kaan mein ghus hee gaya sab kuch...aur sochne kee to purani beemari hai...

Let's call my neighbour as N...and the project manager will be PM.

The issue is that the PM does not want to take one particular girl in the new project that he's going to lead. The reason - she is too "chulbuli". He really used that word (N repeated it)! Can you believe it?

Now my champion N starts his Managergiri...and boss, he's too good at it...

Here he goes...

If you think she is not adequately motivated, I think it is our responsibility to motivate her. The major motivating factor for her is the possibility of an onsite assignment. If the person performs well we can always send him/her onsite. If it is a growing account there are always opportunities to leverage.

Onsite is only possible if the person meets the expectations of the manager. The person has to prove his potential to be considered for greater responsibilities like an Onsite opportunity which is also a reward for his/her work.

That girl is interested in .Net and VB. So .Net and VB are motivating factors. All is ok if you are basically agreeing to the idea of a trial.

What I want to ask you to do is, first u take an independent look on all these things...but keep in mind that we have every right to try a person for a month, and if the person is not delivering, then we can move the person out.
EXCELLENT!!!

Then N and PM discuss about the technical details of the new project.

N talks about the difference between C# and C++...JIT compilers...C++ compiles directly to machine code...said something about Borland C++, Turbo C++...mentioned MSIL...bahut kuch pata hai ise...stud banda hai...

Then some tips to PM on how to appear for the client interview:


Give them an assurance and confidence and show them the keenness to take challenges. Evaluate the technologies in parallel...u shud appear eager...raring to go and take on challenges. It's an interview, u have to sell u'rself to them...so don't speak casually. If u want to talk about motivation and bla bla bla, I can always do that. (He has a nice way of saying "bla bla bla"...very quick)

essentially u do more, u take more responsibility, u do better - u are always chosen for things...rule of life...
boss! this guy is amazing!!!

SaSaBaBa

Of all that I have ever heard about the Satya Sai Baba (SaSaBaBa) of Puttaparti, this one is the funniest...All the watches that he produces out of Air are "Made in Switzerland"...wow...so that's where he steals them from!!! matter-to-waves-and-back-to-matter...and nobody comes to know!!!

A lot of experiences, my sense of logic, and my own rationale for such things have thankfully turned me into an atheist. I don't deny the existence of a superpower...in fact, I am too ignorant, and so are all of us, of the reality...

But a Homosexual God who molests kids and produces watches of Swiss make by waving his hand in the air...that's too much to digest. ROTFL!!!

Was going through this article by Vir Sangvi on The Hindustan Times - The Truth About Sathya Sai Baba. It's a shame on mankind - the way these Babas are able to lure so many people. The confrontation of SaSaBaBa with PC Sorcar is very interesting. SaSaBaBa produces Sondesh, and Sorcar produces a Roshogulla in return...and SaSaBaBa is furious...

HEHEHEHE...Caught Behind!!!

And do u know, SaSaBaBa can predict the future! Wonder whether he knows that the world is going to end in 2012. Yes, that's true. According to the Mayan Calender. More on that some other time...

When I was in my 4th standard, I used to attend weekend-timepass classes called "Baal Vikaas". It was at one Aunty's house. 2 Didis use to come there and teach Satya Sai Baba's bhajans and slokas. One was Indira Didi, the other was...shaayad Pallavi...I don't remember. It used to be a one hour class on Saturdays at 3.00 PM. I attended it for almost a year. They used to teach some non-SaSaBaBa stuff too...like Saraswati, Ram, Hanuman, Good-Night, Good-Morning, before meals, before shower...slokas for everything. And some bhajans too, mostly non-SaSaBaBa...I used to sing well...

There were some games in the end (I once got a prize for coming first in the memory test)...followed by a story...Pallavi(shaayad) didi was good at story telling...all SaSaBaBa stories...

A nice prasaad was distributed in the end...along with Vibhooti (sacred ash). SaSaBaBa devotees have this weird and blind belief that SaSaBaBa Vibhooti can cure every disease...heal all wounds...if u have stomach pain, just eat some Vibhooti...if u've got any injury, apply this SaSaBaBa Vibhooti there...it'll be cured...

And you hear Sai Ram all the time. No Hi-Hellos...only Sai Ram Sai Ram Sai Ram...wishes, exclamations, gaalis...all Sai Ram.

we were once shown an album which had SaSaBaBa's fotos...all ages...at 14 (approx...memory not so sharp) SaSaBaBa left home and became baba! Very soon he got his patent hairstyle. Not sure who told him he is the reincarnation of Shiva, but he claims to be one.

The theory goes that Shiva had got a curse ( or vardaan?) that he'd be born thrice and do great deeds. The much reverred Shirdi Sai Baba was the first. SaSaBaBa is said to be the second by many. The third cud be me :-) I lost my hair. The chances are grim. A takla Sai Baba!!! May work!

One weekend at Baalvikas, we were asked to write letters addressed to SaSaBaBa. Anything. The Didis were going to Puttaparti to meet SaSaBaBa and to do some community service there. We were assured that those letters would be delivered to SaSaBaBa, and also that SaSaBaBa reads them...and the lucky kids get a reply - they told us. It sounded fishy to me...I did not know about pedophiles at that time...otherwise I cud have warned my fellow kids...may be that was the actual purpose of the BaalVikaas classes...to send good-quality kids to SaSaBaBa...Thank God I never got any offer for his Darshans. I was such a bright kid...there was huge risk...I realize now.

Well I did write him a letter...It was something like this:

Dear SaSaBaBa,

I don't have any faith in you. ("devotion" was the word I wanted to use...but inspite of thinking hard, I was not able to pull this word out of my mental depths so as to use it...strange, a lot of things are there inside our memories which we cannot recall) But people say you are God. Please show me some sign that will make me believe that you are one. I am waiting for your reply. If you are really God, then you can easily show me something...from wherever you are...

Sridhar

I never got any reply. That disappointed me. I quit BaalVikas. Soon most of my friends quit too. Anyway I had no Bhakti and all...we just went there for prasaad...and games...and prizes...I had one more reason...opportunities to sing in front of people...I was once a part of a group-song...sung in a function on the occasion of SaSaBaBa's B'day...we sang Sai Pancharatnam...Still remember a few lines...3 in fact -

Sauhadra varshaabhi raapoor yantam, smrite nola santam bhavantam muda
Dishaambhaasa yantam samaprema yantam tamonaasha yantam dharalambanam
Moham tada krodha kaumari sangham kshane dhwansa yantam cha sai shivam

Don't remember their meanings...the Didis had explained each word to us...Now when I read the lines above...I'm able to make sense of some of these words...they really seem to praise that guy heavily...I feel sorry for having sung all this like an idiot for that jerk...

I used to be such a God-fearing person when I was a kid. For all my decisions, I used to go and look at Gods' fotos and try to see a smile on their faces. If I could see a smile, I took that for an approval of my decision. I had one SaSaBaBa foto too. That was always smiling...always approved my decisions...hehe...I also used to pray a lot. 10 minutes of prayer in front of all major Gods before going to school...asking for a lot of things...full marks in all unit-tests, half yearly exams...and final exams...always a first rank...happiness for mummy, daddy, sister, brother...and asking god 4 times to give me all that...3, I believed, was God's favourite number (like we bajao the ghanti 3 times in temple)...and the 4th time was just an extra, in case God missed one of them...hehehe...and the night before the school results every year, I used to stay awake all night and pray for a first rank...

hehehe...Well, I had a detailed theory on how to pray the right way...but all that, some other time...

In 11th class, most of my hair fell...mera bhagwaan se vishwaas uth gaya...and I turned into an atheist :-)...there was another reason...the deeper I went into Physics and Mathematics, the more the feeling that "God is crap" got strengthened...At least God in the form our religions preach cannot be real...God is something we have not even imagined yet...The creator cannot be an elephant-headed being with 2 wives who lives in the clouds (our satellites cud have got his snap if he had been there!!!)...We are yet to totally grasp the vastness of the universe...and whatever lies beyond...God cannot be so human...There are many other animals on earth...we just happen to be the more intelligent ones at present...imagine, there are more bacteria than us...do they have a god? A bacterium? In the microscopic world in which they live, may be even humans are a rare species...many may not even come accross one in their lifetimes...even our bodies contain so many microbes...what is the universe for them? A life form that has not seen anything beyond our insides has no idea what stars and moon are...can it even see anything? We are so human-centred in our thoughts...why should god take a human-like birth? Was Ram a Dinosaur in a previous birth? coz there were no humans on earth for hundreds of millions of years of the earth's history...the creator is definitely not human...he created so many other animals first...

There are huge depths of oceans still unexplored...somewhere there might be something that governs all our lives...hmmm, Well, sorry for the digression...

We don't know the true meaning of our existence. But that does not mean that we start believing whatever we are told, just for the sake of believing something...just to feel protected...just to rest assured that there is someone who loves the good and punishes the bad...

Let's come out of all this drama. Let's live for eachother...let's love eachother...let's have rules which beautify our lives...the ultimate goal should be human betterment...not blind following of rituals...not blind faith in any baba...look into the skies...there is a lot to make sense of...if we could just open our eyes...

...

I am having weird thoughts these days. Just a little while ago, I had a strange feeling. As I looked around, I imagined that I could see everyone in the office, and nothing else; that somehow I could choose what I saw. Somehow everything else would be filtered and my eyes will show me only that particular thing. And then sitting in this cubicle, I chose to be able to see all humans and nothing else. The image that formed in my mind as a result was wonderful. There was a grid of humans hanging in the air...3-D...many guys above me, in the upper floors, and many below and many at my level. Most of the people were in sitting postures, both their hands held in front of them...their fingers moved up and down and the eyes were all fixed on the nothingness in front of them...There were some guys walking, some just standing. I could see the bottoms of many shoes (I chose to see people in their clothes...hehe...)

As I looked afar, there were more people...all hanging in space. All seemed to be doing something. The hands, legs, bodies moved in weird fashions. I thought a little more...

I could not see the earth as well, there was no sky, no stars...The earth was a huge bunch of people hanging in space. There was something round in between, the earth itself, invisible, that separated people from one end of the globe and the other...from falling towards each other. I am not sure whether my eyes have the ability too see people so far away as the people at the other diametric end of the earth. There definitely was a spherical barrier I could notice as I looked down coz there were no people below that.

My hands could feel a lot of things...I could feel a box in front of me...A chair underneath...I got up...Nobody noticed me...I could see everyone...I tried to walk a little...people under me, people above me...I felt there was a path between 2 rows of people...I walked along that...I hit a wall...I turned...

A friend of mine, let's call him Shoonya...I told him everything about the limitations of my vision...He put things to eat in my hand...I ate them...I had to survive...He guided me when I had to move on the road...Saved me from being hit by vehicles...I did what he told me to...I ate what he gave me, I shit where he asked me to...I drank invisible water...

Then I started wondering, what if Shoonya wasn't there...what if there was no one like Shoonya...what if everyone was like me...I pondered more on that...

We would all have been humans hanging loosely in space...that's from the visibility point of view...but our sense of touch told us that there is a lot out here...and around...

Not sure how we would have evolved under those circumstances.

We wud never have had paper, pens, the wheel...at least in the visible form. I guess wheel could still have found a use...we cud have vehicles...invisible vehicles...moving on invisible roads...made smooth...what wud we get when we dig...go on digging...u go deep down...earth that can be seen through...the sense of touch would tell us that the temperature increases as u go deep...we'll have to stop beyond a point...could be a confusing situation...we dig a ditch...we cannot really see it...how do we spot it when we come back...may be drop a man inside to sit at the bottom just to show that there is a way to go that deep...

think more...

what would happen when a human being dies...not sure...he'd turn invisible? If not then we could use dead humans to make things visible. Tie some human material all over something and it would be visible. We could make roads, vehicles, tools everything visible like this. But not sure.

What about other living creatures on the earth. We couldn't see them. We'd be killed easily. Horrifying to see eaten human remains inside another animal.

we wouldn't know what seeing anything else means. What if we were a blind species?

Our concept of reality is formed by what we sense...and an extrapolation into what we cannot...and sometimes our theories and numbers too lead us to such conclusions which we cannot sense...to be verified when we might develop the power to sense them one day...directly or indirectly...

what about now? Are we seeing the reality? Are the 5 senses the only possible ways to sense anything? What are our limitations? I don't know if these questions can be answered...There could be a lot going on right in front of us, which we are unable to perceive...There could be something beyond mathematics, physics and chemistry that governs things...

I close my eyes, I see dots...lots of them.