Tagged...

Here we go...a tag taken up from Sindhu.

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Favorite Color: Green
Favorite Food: Pani Puri 
Favorite Month: December (Sarkaye Leyo Khatiya Jaada Lage!!!)
Favorite Songs:
- Ae Ajnabi (Dil Se)
- Kyon Chupate Ho Mann Ki Baat (Mann)
- Dil Mera Churaya Kyon (Akele Hum Akele Tum)
- Aap Ki Kashish (Aashiq Banaya Aapne)
- Mere Khwabon Ka Harr Ek Naksh (Jism)
- Bebasi, Dard Ka Aalam (Baabul)
- Chand Sifarish (Fanaa)
- Tadap Tadap Ke (Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam)
- Chand Chupa (Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam)
- Musafir Jaane Waale (Gadar)
- Kya Karein Kya Na Karein (Rangeela)
- Raat Ki Hatheli Par (Refugee)
- Papa Kehte Hain (Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak)
- Ghar Se Nikalte Hi (Papa Kehte Hain)
- Bin Tere Sanam (Yaara Dildara)
Favorite Movie: Life is Beautiful
Favorite Sport: None
Favorite Season: Winter (again - Sarkaye Leyo Khatiya Jaada Lage!!!)
Favorite Day Of the week: Saturday (Start of the weekend, and Monday is far away!)
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Strawberry
Favorite Time of Day: 6.45 AM (Can sleep some more!!!)

8 CURRENTS
Current Mood: Tired of being idle.
Current Taste: Teekha-Meetha Mix!
Current Clothes: Jeans-pants to cover the bottom and a full-sleeves Shirt to cover my top.
Current Desktop: Lara Dutta's hot pic!
Current Toenail Color: Don't color nails. So it's the natural nail color.
Current Time: 4:35 PM
Current Surroundings: Cubicles all around, with people "working".
Current Thoughts: Nobody comments on my blog :-(

6 FIRSTS
First Best Friend: Vikash and Gopu (KG-I). We used to sit together all the time. Also did a lot of mischief together. Once during KG-I, three of us peed out through the class-room window. It was my idea. To me that made a lot of sense at that time. It was cruel to send small KG kids to the same toilet where big-big high-school kids used to pee. It was a scary toilet and we could never pee whole-heartedly over there. Moti-Miss, our class-teacher, saw us peeing out of the window and shouted at us. Being the leader, I had to shout back. Maine bhi madam ko bol diya: "Aap log jo chaho wo karte ho, par hame kuch nahi karne dete!"
First Screen Name: yvsridhar
First Pet: No pets ever.
First Piercing: None
First Album: Lata Mangeshkar's Remixed songs by Sonali Bajpai.
First Movie: Pyar-Mohabbat (Govinda and Mandakini Starrer) (As far as I can remember)

6 LASTS
Last Cigarette: 1st July 2006 (First and Last!), Didn't check the brand...I was drunk.
Last Drink: Smirnoff Vodka, Dec 24 2006...Quit Drinking after that.
Last Car Ride: Maruti 800, took a Lift from office to Home...about a month back.
Last Movie Seen: Traffic Signal, decent movie.
Last Phone Call: Kuvalaya Singh, frustoo career discussions!
Last Book Read: Life of Pi, great story.
Have You Ever Broken the Law: NO! ;-)
Have You Ever Been Arrested: NO
Have You Ever Been on TV: YES! On "Hello Bilaspur", Bilaspur's local channel. All those who cleared the JEE from Bilaspur were interviewed.
Have You Ever Lied: NO! (any answer to this question cannot be relied upon, unless another question is asked to test its veracity)
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: Never Kissed anyone:-(((

5 THINGS
Thing You're Wearing: dark blue underwear, white baniyan with short half sleeves, blue jeans, full-sleeves brown checks wala shirt, titan watch, woodland shoes, dark blue socks, spectacles with black metal frame & glass-lenses.
Things You've Done Today: Lots of failed attempts to blog on various topics since morning.
Thing You Can Hear Right Now: my neighbour, a Project Manager, talking loudly on fone.
Thing You Can't Live Without: my comb
Thing You Do When You're Bored: call someone.

 4 PLACES YOU'VE BEEN TODAY: Office, and nowhere else.

3 PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO: Myself, Myself, Myself.

2 CHOICES
1. Black or White: Black. White gets dirty very soon and very easily.
2. Hot or Cold: Hot!

1 THING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: Fall in Love!

Aishwarya Married Thrice Already!!!

Yes, that's true...her 3 hubbies are - a peepal tree at Banaras, a banana tree at a Bengalooru temple and a God's idol in Ayodhya.

According to the Wikipedia a Manglik is a person born when Mars is in the 2nd, 4th, 7th, 8th, or 12th house of the Vedic Astrology's lunar chart. The 'handicap' is called Mangal Dosha. 'This condition is believed by some to be devastating for marriage, causing discomfort and tension in relationship, leading to seperation and divorce, and in some cases, it is believed to cause untimely death of one spouse. This is attributed to the "fiery" nature of this planet.' That's creepy. Why should someone be born like that? I always knew Aishwarya was a difficult girl for a human to marry.

I need to check if I am Manglik. I used to think that everyone born on "Mangalwar" must be Manglik. But I was wrong. Now I will have to check out where the hell those planets were roaming when I was born. I had been thinking that an MBA, some jogging sessions to reduce my tummy, a Thread Ceremony, a few episodes of Sex and the City and a few of Desperate Housewives should be enough to get myself ready for marriage. But now if I turn out to be a God damn freakin' Manglik, I'll have to do some extra preparations, like marrying a peepal tree, a banana tree and some Goddess. I'll do all that well in advance and have all the certificates ready so that my lady doesn't have to worry about all those things just before marriage, like poor Abhishek.

I've heard that the time of birth is not very accurately read and noted in most cases. And moreover, who has a clock synchronized with the correct IST at Allahabad or All India Radio or Radio Mirchi. Those planets are sly creatures. They never stay for long in the same house. I think, to play safe, everyone should get rid of this Mangal Dosha before marriage. It can be carried out soon after birth like the NaamKaran or Vaccinations. I hope this wouldn't fall under the purview of 'Child Marriage'.

One good thing is that if two Mangliks marry each other, then their Mangal Doshas cancel each other and they can live happily ever after. Cool Man! God is great!

Nursery Admissions Issue

Nursery Admissions in Delhi have become a nightmare for many parents in Delhi. And to their kids as well. I never attended nursery school. There were few in Bilaspur when I was that age. And moreover, I don't think I needed it. Mom was always around to take care of me, and impart preliminary fundas to me before joining KinderGarten. Nowadays, nurseries and even pre-nurseries and play-homes have become fashion. There are reasons for that of course. They make lives convenient for parents. And as far as kids are concerned, it is hard to understand what kids think at that age. A survey to find out what some of the adults think about their experience of attending play-homes, pre-nurseries and nurseries in their childhood would be interesting.

To stop the interviewing of parents and kids by some of the private nurseries in Delhi, the Delhi High Court had set up a panel, called the the Ganguly Panel, after Mr. Ashok Ganguly, the Chairman of CBSE. The purpose of the panel was to come up with a methodology which the schools must follow to select the right kids from all the applicants. A methodology that is fair and just and at the same time serves the interests of both schools and parents.

The Ganguly Panel came up with a 100-point Formula and the Delhi High Court passed a Verdict that the admissions process be conducted in accordance with the Ganguly Panel recommendations. And the Supreme Court later upheld the HC verdict. However, there is heavy resentment from all the Schools in Delhi. They are challenging the 100-pt criteria as an attempt to take away the autonomy of private schools. And the parents are not happy either. The recommendations seem to have failed big time.

Let's take a look at the 100-pt Formula. The following are its main points
- No interviews of children and parents

- Common admission calendar for all schools
Dec 1-20: Sale of admission forms.
Jan 31: Submission of admission forms.
Feb 1-20: Deadline for schools to release the first lists of selected kids.
Feb 26: Payment of fees and completion of admission formalities.
Feb 26: Last date for releasing the 2nd list.
Apr 1: Classes Start.

- Points based on the distance(d km) between the kid's residence and school:
0 <= d <= 3 : 20 Points
3 <= d <= 10: 8 + 12x(10-d)/7 Points
d > 10: 0 Points
 
- 20 points if kid has any sibling in the same school.
 
- Points based on parental qualification:
max 10 points per parent (so 20 Points for both combined).
The rule is:
Post Graduation and beyond - 10 Points
Graduation - 8 Points
Sr. Secondary - 6 Points
Class X - 4 Points
Below Class X - 0
 
- 5 points if the kid is a girl.
 
- 5 points for kids with special needs.
 
- 5 points per parent who's an alumnus.
 
- 20 points, the school can award according to their requirements which have to be made public through prior advertisement.

That makes it 100 points.
 
- In case there’s a tie, draw of lots has been recommended as the way out.

It took me a good amount of time to understand the above 100-point-system. No wonder most schools condemn it as too complicated to follow. Not only does it look very complicated, but it also triggers a feeling, at least in me, that it does not solve the actual problem in any way. And some of the points-criteria seem illogical and non-sensical.

For example, there are 20 points at stake based on how far one stays from the school where he/she wants to apply. Clearly, there's an underlying assumption that there is a uniform distribution of "private" schools all over Delhi, which is inconceivable in such a city. A 'private' school like any other business needs a considerable level of investment and the motive is very much to earn profits, besides educating kids. The concentration of schools in various parts of the city depends on a lot of factors. Cost and availability of land, other resources, suitability of the area for operating a school, proximity to residential areas, etc. And private schools have a better concentration in posh localities, where they can hope for better profits. Quite a lot of them operate at all levels - Nursery, KinderGarten, Primary, Secondary and Higher Secondary. That's the reason why talking of siblings in the same school seems to make sense. That's the reason there is a mad rush to get the kids into those nursery schools. Once you have u'r kid in, you don't have to worry for a long time. And that's why the schools are concerned as well. A schools reputation rests on its results. Therefore taking in the right kids at nursery level becomes very crucial.

Distance is not a very big issue for rich people. They'd rather go for a reputed school, known for quality education...even if it is a little far. Similarly, at the other extreme is a poor guy who on the one hand will never bother about nurseries, and on the other, will always try to find a school that costs the least. Many just don't bother to get their kids educated. That case is an extreme beyond all extremes.

There are 20 points for parents' education...10 points per parent. Now this really sets in a vicious circle - penalizing students if the parents are not adequately educated. The idea behind this may be that if the parents are well-educated, they can teach the kids better at home, though I don't find this fully convincing. And now with government freeing the kids of school-bags, homeworks and exams, the kids hardly have any studying to do at home. And beyond primary school, most kids study on their own or go to tuitions anyway. Parents' role is just to motivate, and keep a watch, which the less educated parent can do as well. I even feel that a less educated parent will be more careful and concerned about proper education of his/her child because he understands what one loses when he/she does not have those degrees. Now additionally, he/she has some points also to lose. That's sad.

Some of those weightages are too high. Probably the Ganguly Panel was too obsessed with the number 100 and were too hasty to find enough variables to hold some points. For example, one fifth of u'r chances of admission depend on whether you have a sibling in that school. And the panel has suggested the schools to give more weightages to single parents in the 20 points that the schools are free to set their criteria for. May be this is because single parents will lose a lot of points because of not having an educated spouse, 2nd child, and if not alumni.

Let's understand what's the problem that the High Court tried to address and what's the real problem that is breaking the system down. The High Court saw the superficial problem of interviewing of parents and kids by schools so as to decide whether to allow admissions of the kids or not. In fact a petition by a concerned and responsible citizen drew the attention of the Judiciary to this mal-practice. The problem was genuine indeed. The Judiciary needed just to put an end to this mal-practice. It did that, but it also went ahead and did a lot more.

Private institutions are driven by market forces. And the beauty of the market is that it is ruthless in punishing a poor-quality product, and it appropriately rewards the good ones. One cannot make rules out of ethical practices and responsibilites, which themselves are not always rigid. The HC made it mandatory for the schools to follow the recommendations of the Ganguly Panel and the SC upheld its decision. It was ok to the extent of banning the interviews. But beyond that, the Licence-Raj mindset crept in.

The panel justifies the recommendations by saying that they will lead to more responsible behavior by parents and schools towards the kids and will avoid discrimination. But it is rather leading to more serious problems and a lot of inefficiencies. For example, people now come with fake documents of residence etc. How will a school ensure the correctness of such information. All this is unnecessary head-ache for a school. Following the rules, and not breaking them, is supposed to make life easy.

What the Ganguly Panel should really be doing is to try to understand the basic problem of the demand exceeding the supply of seats in the schools...why are there not enough schools set up to ensure that all the kids get admissions in good Schools. Its recommendations should rather be addressed to the gorvernment to create suitable conditions such that more and more private players are encouraged to start new schools and there is healthy competetion. Clearly there is a huge demand. And supply has to come spontaneously, if someone does not create obstructions. Sadly our governments do exactly that in many situations. What they should be doing instead, is to intervene just to the extent that they have to and in the way they are expected to, and to concentrate on more serious and basic issues; not to show its competency in percentages and percentage-points. (Ever written CAT :P) And end up giving stupid rules that are hardly applicable to things which require judgement and not just plain numbers, which even don't cover all aspects of the admission criteria, and make assumptions, some of which are silly. It's like concentrating one one big number and ignoring hundreds of others just because they are small fractions, though anyone can see that all those fractions if added together result in a number which is a million times bigger than the big number you went ahead with.

What the government should rather be doing is to set up schools for the poor and the needy. Not to come up with and impose on everyone such 100-point models, which are no better than the already existing ones. It should grant autonomy to the schools to come up with innovative ways to improve situations. Bans on interviews do make sense. It's all analogous to the soccer game. There are lines to demarcate the boundary. There are rules of the game, which the referee has to take care by watching that everyone follows. And within that framework, the players are free to coordinate, find their ways, and take the ball to the goal. If some player breaks the rules, the referee has the right to warn him multiple times, ask him to leave the ground...but if the referee tells the players how the ball is to be kicked, who should kick it, when it should be kicked, how often, and how hard, how many goals should be scored by each team, and each player, claiming that he's trying to ensure that the spectators get the maximum pleasure...it's not just ridiculous, it's no more a game. No pleasure playing it. And watching it is more pain than entertainment. The duty of the referee is to ensure a free and fair playground where each team can put its best effort and try to win the game. The spectators are entertained in the process. They pay for it. The players enjoy playing the game. And they earn from it. Everybody wins!

Arun Going Onsite!

Boss - Arun, how are u?
Arun - I am fine Sir.
Boss - How is work going on?
Arun - Work is going fine sir.
Boss - Don't call me sir. Learn corporate culture. Call me Ravi.
Arun - Ok Ravi. I'm sorry.
Ravi - It's ok dude.
Arun - How is Tom?
Ravi - Good. We had a call last night.
Arun - Oh.
Ravi - You have to travel next week.
Arun - Really!
Ravi - Yes. It's a crucial project. You understand?
Arun - Ya Ravi. I'll try my best.
Ravi - Will you take your wife along?
Arun - Yes, and Chacchu too. We haven't gone out since long.
Ravi - Ok, that's good. Which class is he in?
Arun - Class 2
Ravi - Take care, the work should not be affected.
Arun - Didn't get you.
Ravi - You're taking family na...
Arun - So?
Ravi - Don't think it's a honeymoon. Lot of work there...
Arun - Yes, I understand. Work won't be affected. Don't worry.
Ravi - Ok. Thanks! Get some warm clothes. It's snowing there.
Arun - Yes, this weekend.
Ravi - Ok. I have a meeting. See you later. Bye!
Arun - Bye Ravi!
Mary - Hey Arun...what's up?
Arun - Yahoo! Going onsite!
Mary - Hey, control stupid! Congrats!!!
Arun - Thanks a lot yaar. Lot of preparations to do...travelling next week.
Mary - Yes, it will be fun.
Arun - Yes. I forgot to ask you, how is your hubby now?
Mary - He's ok. Still at home.
Arun - Oh, I'm sorry.
Mary - It's ok yaar.
Arun - Ok, what do u want from America?
Mary - Nothing.
Arun - No No, you have to tell something...
Mary - OffO, get whatever you feel like.
Arun - Ok yaar. Chal, I will give this news to my wife.
Mary - Yes Yes. And I am going to gym. Tata.
Arun - Tata.
Wife - Hello Hello
Arun - Hey Jaanu! What doing?
Wife - Just back from Chacchu's school.
Arun - Oh. I have to tell you something.
Wife - First I have to tell you something.
Arun - Me first.
Wife - Me first.
Arun - Me first.
Wife - Arun, please don't irritate me.
Arun - Ok, tell.
Wife - Chacchu talks a lot in the class. His Renu miss told me.
Arun - Oh, I will beat him tonight after you and I make love.
Wife - That won't help. Leave it, I will handle it.
Arun - Ok.
Wife - You had something to tell.
Arun - Haan. Darling, we are going America!
Wife - Stop your jokes.
Arun - No, seriously.
Wife - Really? Khao Kasam
Arun - Haan!!! Chacchu ki kasam.
Wife - WOW
Arun - Start packing. We have to go next week.
Wife - Shit. Chacchu's unit-tests next week.
Arun - Come on, don't worry about all that.
Wife - Kaahe?
Arun - We'll admit him in an American School.
Wife - Haan, he cannot speak any English. At least he won't talk in the class.
Arun - Waah...Love you.
Wife - I love you too Dinku.
Arun - Don't call me Dinku.
Wife - Dinku Dinku Dinku.
Arun - Ok bye.
Wife - Bye, Katti.
Arun - Over and Out.
Dina - Hey Arun, coming for coffee?
Arun - Yes honey, you call I come, I not come is not possible.
Dina - Stop that. I'll tell your wife.
Arun - Plz do that.
Dina - Arun...Tum last time serious kab hue they?
Arun - The day Chacchu was born.
Dina - Why?
Arun - His face looked similar to my neighbour's.
Dina - Oh. It happens.
Arun - What do you mean it happens?
Dina - Ok Ok, cool down. Now let's go and have coffee.
Arun - I'm not interested. You go.
Dina - I'm sorry Arun.
Arun - It's ok. Leave me alone for some time.
Dina - Ok. Bbbye
Arun - Paro, u there?
Paro - Yes. Why are u in invisible mode?
Arun - Just like that.
Paro - Wassup?
Arun - Nothing great.
Paro - Had breakfast?
Arun - Yes.
Paro - What did u eat? I ate one aaloo-ka-paratha.
Arun - I ate shit. Why do u daily ask the same question?
Paro - Coz I care for you. Ok, now I won't ask.
Arun - I'm sorry yaar. I am a little upset.
Paro - Why? What happened?
Arun - Forget it. I'm ok now.
Paro - Ok. Aur kya chal raha hai?
Arun - I am going onsite.
Paro - WoW! Congrats.
Arun - Thanks dear.
Paro - BRB.
Arun - Ok.
Raja - Hey Arun, let's have some coffee.
Arun - Kya bey. Mood nahi hai abhi.
Raja - Chal Saale. Rani khadi hai balcony mein.
Arun - You go and watch her.
Raja - Come on yaar. She is looking atom-bomb today.
Arun - Really? Accha chal.
Raja - Abey jaldi chal.
Arun - Can't walk faster.
Raja - Chhod, wo chalee gayee.
Arun - Shit.
Raja - You spoiled my mood.
Arun - Chal, I'll give u treat...aaj lunch meri taraf se.
Raja - Why?
Arun - Going Onsite!
Raja - Saale Kutte.
Arun - What?
Raja - Lunch is not enough. Treat at Taj!
Arun - HmmHmm. No way. Kat Le.
Raja - ok, Bye
Arun - Abey sun to.
Raja - Mujhe jana hai, kaam hai...see you later, bye.
Arun - Hey Rani
Rani - Hii, how are you?
Arun - I was passing this way. Socha tumhara haal chaal pooch loon.
Rani - Haan, I saw you with Raja. You duffer!
Arun - Come on. He's an idiot. Can't help it.
Rani - So, how's life going?
Arun - Am going onsite.
Rani - When?
Arun - Next week.
Rani - WOW. Treat Treat!
Arun - Why not. Dinner tonight at Taj?
Rani - I am a little busy tonight.
Arun - Tomorrow?
Rani - Tomorrow in my boy-friend's B'day.
Arun - Ok, day-after-tomorrow?
Rani - Ok, day-after-tomorrow.
Arun - Great!
Rani - Isee bahane I will meet your wife.
Arun - Oh, you won't.
Rani - Why?
Arun - She's going to Bhusawal tomorrow.
Rani - Why?
Arun - To spend some time with her MoM before going to America.
Rani - Oh. Anyways, some other time.
Arun - Yes. Chalo, I'll do some work now.
Rani - Ok.
Arun - So day-after-tomorrow is pakka na?
Rani - Okies.
Arun - Keep yourself free. We'll go directly from office.
Rani - How?
Arun - On my Activa, of course!

I will host KBC

Now with Shahrukh Khan hosting KBC, I am also excited to try hosting it. I am sure some day I will also get a chance. "After Shahrukh, who?"...this question is giving sleepless nights to many...I have the answer..."Me, of course!!!"

Let's analyze what have been the USPs of Big B and King Khan in the show. Big B displayed a lot of energy, style, charisma, manliness, confidence, intelligence, wit, humour, friendliness, yet distance to an appropriate degree from the participants. Shahrukh, on the other hand, is concentrating on humour, sarcasm, style, friendliness, energy, youthfulness, dimples, and lady contestants...coz he feels he is stronger than Big B in all these departments. Shahrukh is failing in the first six of his target areas coz for those, he needs fundoo acting skills and he's goofin up. While for Big B, his areas mentioned above are not in fact his target areas, but are rather his actual qualities and he is one of the best in all of them. And he's a great actor as well. So he can fake a lot of qualities whenever he wants to, unlike Shahrukh.

Now without bothering too much about comparing the two hosts KBC has seen so far, let's now think about where I stand as far as becoming a KBC host is concerned. Let's look at the most important of the qualities which both Big B and Shahrukh seem to display...

1.Energy: This is my biggest problem-area. I never look energetic. Most people take that as disinterest, and they are not often wrong. I don't feel continuously and consistently interested in anything. I guess it is like that for everyone, but for me, the initial period when I am interested is pretty small. So I have to do something such that viewers don't feel I am dragging myself through the show. I have thought for a long time about this. It is against my basic instincts. I don't think I can manage being so energeting and enthusiastic for long. Just look at those chairs they sit on. I cannot climb and sit so high up and then get down again and again to go and massage Guggi or whoever, or shake hands, or hug, etc. etc.

2.Humour: My worst experience at having to be humourous was in a BSchool interview I attended last year. Misled by a friend of mine, I had written in the application that I had a good sense of humour and I immensely loved Physics. I hadn't imagined the implications of this until I entered the interview hall. Soon after "Hello Sir Hello Mam", I was given a high-school Physics textbook (Resnik & Halliday), asked to open any page at random and explain whatever was in there. I collided with 2-dimensional collisions. I explained all that to the best of my ability. Those block-heads surely didn't understand anything. Next, they asked me to crack a joke, coz I'd claimed that I had a stupendous sense of humour. Now the problem is, I don't remember jokes, and am very bad at narrating them even if some manage to come to my mind after thinking for a long time. For example, the only joke that I normally remember is the following (I heard it from my best friend during my KG classes, and have never forgotten it):

- There was a thief whose name was Chaddi. One day he stole something from somebody and was being chased by a mob. Everyone was shouting "Chaddi ko pakdo, Chaddi ko pakdo". Hearing this, sabne apni chaddi pakad lee. Then Chaddi ran and climbed a tree. So everyone started shouting "Chaddi ko utaaro, Chaddi ko utaaro". Ye sunke sabne apni chaddi utaar dee. (EOJ)
 
I'm sorry about the quality of the joke, but, I don't know why, I can't remember any other joke, and I can't forget this Chaddi-joke ever.

I didn't want to tell this Chaddi-joke in the interview and I couldn't think of any other joke. The interviewer clearly felt that either I didn't really have any good sense of humour, or I was too scared to crack a joke in front of him. Well, I could tell him theories on why a person with a good sense of humour does not have to be good at cracking jokes, but then, who listens :-(((

So it seems like something in my brain doesn't like storing jokes, though I do enjoy listening to them sometimes...i.e., for some time until I lose interest. And I am very bad at narrating them...I have tried a lot of times, it doesn't work out...even the Chaddi-joke, whenever I have told that to someone, he/she has given me a was-that-a-joke kind of look. Looks like I can't help myself even in this department.

Well, I am losing interest in this topic :-( Will try to concentrate for some more time...

3.Style: Big B has his charming tip-top style. His voice evokes respect and arouses curiosity in the listeners. He is like the best prof in the college...who doesn't take attendance, yet every student wants to attend his lectures coz he teaches brilliantly. His body-language is superb and his personality is exquisite. Shahrukh on the other hand has a unique haqlu style. His voice is thin and he occasionally tries to make it sound thick by speaking loud and at a high pitch. He has a nice smile; those dimples are enough to woo ladies, and he uses them efficiently. He looks more down-to-earth and friendly, possibly because of his rise from middle-class to stardom. It's my guess that it's easier to talk to Shahrukh than to Big B.

Ok, now let's see what I've got. I'm also very down-to-earth, coz I have been in the middle-class all through. I think I look good in suit. I have worn it a couple of times...on important occasions. I always forget to keep a hanky though. I walk like a robot. That's how I look, though I try my best to walk like Sanjay Dutt. I have a nice voice...more lady-killing than that of either of the gentlemen. But without being energetic, I am not sure how much of an impact I can make with that voice. My body language is very bad. I don't move a lot. And I speak without expressions. When I smile, I look sad. I struggle a lot with expressions. For example, when I have to show elation and joy when my friend comes and tells me very very happily that he has done "that" first time, the expression that really comes out is of "Saala u did it, so what? when will I do?" And God-Promise I don't mean anything like that. I don't know how to go about fixing this problem. My face has got some serious aberrations. I try to show some expression, something else shows up and I'm screwed.

4.Youthfulness: I used to think I was very youthful until a few days back when a friend of mine said I am kiddish + kidlike = kid. I guess I might feel young at old-age. I understand youth to mean jawaani, that's when all "that" happens. By Youth most people mean the post teenage adults in the twenties. But at 41 if Shahrukh Khan is representing the Youth and is bringing Youthfulness into KBC, then I guess I still have a lot of time to come out of my kiddishness and kidlikeness, i.e., kidness.

Bahut ho gaya. This topic sucks. I am not hosting KBC.

Thread Ceremony

Mom is after me these days to perform my Thread Ceremony. There is a lot of high funda behind this ceremony. Once Threaded a guy born in a Brahmin Caste becomes a true Brahmin. No kidding ;-) But I don't think many young people know or care about that. What many do care about, is the fact that if you are not threaded, you cannot marry. That guy who mutters all the matras to marry you will kick you away if you are not Threaded. There are work-arounds of course. Bribe him, and wear a Thread at least during the Marriage ceremony, so that the ladies attending the marriage don't do Khusur-Phusur. You may simply lie. Afterall you don't get any certificate after being Threaded. But if your wife is overly religious and you do that telling-everything-true-true on the very first night, your marriage might both start and end up in soup.

Most of the Hindu ceremonies, and actually those of all the religions that I know of, don't give certificates of any form in the end. I think it is very important. I mean how do u know for sure whether Pados ki Mrs.Sharma is really "religio-legally" married to Mr.Sharma. I think all religions implicitly assume that a person who cheats God by lying to be something without performing the requisite ceremony will eventually be punished by God. Court marriages are a shade better. You get a certificate instantly. Even those who marry in "I do I do" style or in "Om Swaha" style have to get legal marriage certificates these days for a lot of reasons.

Well, Thread Ceremony is a very painful process. The scale and the exact procedure may vary, depending on which part of India and which subcaste you belong to. In one of them, lots of ladies are invited and they come and apply turmeric paste all over you and crack stupid Gharelu jokes and do LOL LOL and some do ROTFL too. Then you have to perform the long puja with the pujari. It's like sitting with him on the KBC Hot Seat, where he gets to do most of the talking. "Aayiye ham aur aap khelte hain kaun banega karodpati!!!!!! Dwiteeeaaaaya!!!" During the puja, there is one step where the being-threaded person's hair...that on the head...is shaved off. These days most guys get only a few strands cut off with scissors. That serves the purpose. It's easy to fool God. But still I am worried, coz each strand of hair on my head is valuable to me :-( However, it is definitely possible to avoid being touched all over by so many ladies. There are low-cost-less-maatha-pacchi alternatives available. Like go and get Threaded in a temple...don't invite anyone...just your family. People don't mind not being invited for such Thread Ceremonies. Just make sure you get some snaps and show them later. Otherwise...u know...Khusur-Phusur...

Life right now is already very heavily multi-threaded. One more thread will crash the application :-)

slapped on the road!

The funniest news item this morning: a guy slapped Greg Chappel in Bhubaneshwar to express his anger over non-inclusion of Oriya players in the Indian Cricket team. I have my sympathies with poor Greg. I can understand how he must have felt. Long back when I was 3 years old, I went to Tirupati with my family. I was a litil-litil small-small nanna-munna golu-molu baccha walking with small-small steps, holding mummy's hand with my left hand and a balloon with my right hand. 5 of us - Mummy, Daddy, Sister, Brother and I were walking side by side, heading for the temple for God's Darshan. As we were walking, I saw a mad woman coming from the opposite direction. She was definitely walking on the wrong side of the road. She was heading towards us. None of the biggies in my gang seemed to notice her coming. She was talking something to herself. I strained my neck and tried to look upwards. I saw that Mummy-Daddy were busy arguing over something; Brother-Sister were busy fighting over something. I was too down-to-earth to matter much to anyone. My smallness irritated and frustrated me all the time. There was nobody else of my size.

I grew more and more scared as the mad woman was coming nearer. And then, something happened which shook me to my core. The mad woman slapped me hard. She kept on walking, never stopped one moment. She just slapped me and went away, talking shit to herself. The balloon in my right hand flew away into the air. Still no one else from my gang came to know. I had to do something. I cried so loudly that it hurt my throat. I had to do it. It was a golden chance to attract attention and lots of ollelles from all of them. All of them bent to look at me. Mom hugged me, and asked why I was crying. I told her about the mad woman, and that she had slapped me. I'm sure the biggies in my gang must have felt like laughing. I didn't care to look at their expressions. I guess, whatever happened - I didn't consider it funny at all at that time. I cried for long after that. It was easy to cry in those days. I was taken to some restaurant and was offered something I liked. I ate it, and stopped crying. My left cheek was red for a long time, with marks of the mad woman's fingers. And for a long time, I wondered why the woman slapped me. Then we went for Darshan. I don't remember what I asked the God for. Surely not a first rank coz I hadn't joined school by then. Nothing, I guess.