Baje Sargam Har Taraf Se...

As Mid-Night Hot got too hot for the Information and Broadcasting Ministry, many of my friends have been forced to switch back to Sun TV for mid-night entertainment and artistic pursuits. It is unfortunate that the I&B finds the skimpily dressed FTV models as "offensive content". These I&B people don't understand art. How boring are calenders with only dates to look at. Flowers and sceneries don't make them interesting either. So fashion photographers take pains to shoot damsels and put them on calenders, just so that our dates look interesting. And showing them on TV makes it so easy for us to watch directly in our homes what we otherwise could only see on Hindu temples, our cultural heritage. And why appreciate stones when you have live images to adore. It seems like everything past is to be respected as culture and everything present is scorned as obscenity. What about future? Possibly 2000 years later these FTV videos will be a part of our cultural heritage and will be seen with great respect!

And those Lingerie shows impart valuable education about female undergarments (Though I admit that quite often I totally miss them and watch something else...slippery eyes...Phisalti Nazar...blame it on genes...God is a naughty programmer!). I think all guys need such education. It is very important for sexual equality and mutual understanding. If Amul Macho is Crafted for Fantasies, then...hm...hm...well I don't even know one Lingerie brand :-( Ye to bada Toin Hai X-(.

Reality shows are very popular these days on Indian Television. They make good money too. So what if each one of them is a copy of what's already shown on some western channel? We have concocted our own recipes for their success - 2 item number gals bitching against each other, one bhojpuri hero, a few flop bollywood stars trying to stake their claim to fame and a filmy setting. Yes, our reality shows get more filmy than real. And of course by filmy we mean aamchi Bollywood, Tollywood, Kollywood, etc. etc. Not Hollywood because filmy when used for Hollywood has a different meaning altogether. It often sounds more real than our reality shows.

One reason why reality shows are not able to sustain their popularity for long is that the Indian viewers miss the visual and musical effects which they enjoy so much in the TV serials. A face turning thrice with dhan dhan dhan of all instruments strummed together in the background and someone shouting the aaaaaaa of the so called classical music work best at expressing the intensity and depth of Indian emotions and bring tears in the eyes of many ladies. And who doesn't love to see ladies fighting with each other? The serials offer that in plenty. In reality shows they are always a little less jhhagdaaloo since they have their careers and image at stake.

Indian producers have a bad habit of getting repetitive. The success of KBC provoked them to start more shows like it. None worked. Even KBC has stopped working. Shahrukh's fake Thanda Thanda Kewl Kewl smiles could not attract viewers. There are many imitations of Indian Idol on various channels. None worked. Even Indian Idol 2 flopped. Most of the winners of these contests are lost in oblivion. Like the Viva gals, who vanished after Hum Naye Geet Sunayein and Jaago Zara. And a few like Sunidhi Chauhan and the Laughter Kings write their success stories by leveraging the opportunities the successes in these contests offer. An opportunity to be Crorepati by answering 15 questions is more than enough to lure the hundreds of millions of people who comprise the Indian middle class. Then there are shows like Nach Baliye with TV-Star-Couples fighting against each other. Since shows like these don't offer any opportunity for the viewers to participate and get rich & famous, these shows have limited success. It's definitely interesting to see our favourite stars try to show their real capabilities rather than those of the characters they play in the Serials. But then, it cannot be interesting and appealing for long. Beyond a certain point, every viewer asks herself/himself - why should I care?

If that is the state of our Entertainment channels, our News channels are not far behind. In fact there is a slow diffusion of News and Entertainment. Gone are the days of DD when a video used to appear out of nowhere in a box that contained the DD logo just to the left of the news-reader. That was magic for me, during my childhood days. News is different nowadays. The news-readers don't just read news. They ask questions to people in those boxes, listen to the answers and ask more questions. It seems they now understand what they read. A lot is done impromptu unlike the old times. This has had two negative effects, besides a few positive ones we don't want to get into. One - the language is no more the perfect-to-each-word kind. In fact it is molested big time, particularly in the Hindi News Channels. Two - the content and the way it is handled often gets pretty funny.

A popular joke about Indian News Channels goes like this - a guy charged with murder is being hanged. Our samwaad-data is standing by his side with a mike in hand. Now the bakwaas goes like this: Mai abhi uss sthaan-a par-a khada hoon jahaan Kaalia ko phaansi di jaa rahi hai. Aaiye Kaaliya se poochte hain wo kaisa mehsoos karr rahe hain is waqt. Kaaliya refuses to speak, and the scene is pulled back to the box by the left of the news-reader. This gives the news-reader a chance to ask her questions. It would be anything stupid like - Kaaliya ham-a jaanna chahte hain ki aapne aaj subah kya kiya. It doesn't matter. Possibly these news-readers are paid purely based on the number of questions they ask.

And the correspondents, it seems, are paid for bringing breaking-news. It's normally the same accross all channels and has to be something spicy by definition. The recent one, for days and weeks, has been anything related to Aish-Abhi marriage. Another was that Richard Gere gave pappies in public to our very own Shilpa aunty and she enjoyed them and that it had offended the sentiments of Indians. It had to. Public display of affection is totally against Indian culture - so say some learned Hindus. They should get it removed from orkut also as a possible turn-on. At least for all Indian orkutters. Nothing should tempt our playful hormones.

The quality of news has deteriorated. Most of the time the news we are given is not at all the news that matters. Perhaps our news channels are not mature enough to handle 24 hours of news coverage. They often end up relegating items of prime importance, just like what our news-papers do. Probably they assume that Indian audience is too dumb. I guess most news-papers too in India have similar opinions about Indian readers. Added to that, most of our english language news-papers propagate incorrect english and deprecated Victorian usages which the Britishers taught our baniyas and clerks to write applications, letters and reports. Things will get funnier and less meaningful with time if we don't immediately bring in professional standards into our news coverage. It is time that our news-media realized the huge responsiblity associated with their job. The billion people in India deserve a much more mature level of awareness.

Media is like an orchestra. It has musicians, singers, composers, directors, and instruments. We have all of them, and in plenty. We know the notes, yet we play the wrong tunes at times. We have all the instruments, yet we are not always sure how to play them. Our choir sings, but is not directed well. Our composers are confused in their choices of pitch and scale. It's a phase every orchestra passes through. It can't help the noise that accompanies the music that it plays. What matters is how it recovers from it and grows itself in a responsible way. Perhaps each new step has such a phase of irresponsible and immature choices associated with it. Sometimes, such phases take very long to be overcome. But finally, music has the power to teach its composer how to bring it out into the world. It finds its own medium to spread itself.

Samjho Na...Kuch To Samjho Na...

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Religion

It is foolish to fight over one's concept of God which is not even chosen based on one's analysis, but is inherited by birth. Religion, per sé, is one's 'belief' of the realities of the Universe, creation, the Creator and the various ways one can please Him/Her to win favours. I don't know whether the concept of gender applies to the Creator Community. If it does, then Gods should be able mate and multiply. And if it doesn't, there is the possibility of asexual reproduction. Our fun-loving Hindu Gods seem to have gone extinct after a few generations of polygamous procreation. The Gods in most other religions are not so human. Many define them as formless, nameless, all pervading, transcendental somethings that govern all existence. I believe that even Hinduism has the Human-like manifestations just for simplicity of understanding and ease of visualization for common people. I say this because there are deep and complicated concepts of transcendental and indefinable realities like Brahman, atman and the true self in the ancient Indian Philosophical texts that form the roots and structure of Hinduism and other religions that evolved in the Indian Subcontinent.

Humans have a perpetual hunger to know the the reality. We are gifted with an ability to think. If there is a Somebody, whom we call God, who has gifted us with this ability, then we can never know Him/Her unless He/She chooses to. And if there is no such Somebody, then the path of Science is a more meaningful one to follow. And even if there exists such a power, any attempt to verify its existence is in fact what we define as Science, at least a major part of its quest.

We are an intelligent species. We can turn off and on the various knobs of our brain as per situations. We follow logic when we go to a doctor to cure our sickness. We want to believe in the power of God when we pray. We think practially and don't complain when God doesn't grant our wishes. Sometimes we express our anger in front of idols. Sometimes we give up, but not fully. We want to believe that the dead come back. Yet we execute the bad people. We've travelled in the skies. We also want to believe in heaven and hell. And we pray at the graves of our loved ones who are no more. We kill animals to extinction. We keep some as pets and treat them as family members.

If scientific enquiry is natural to humans, so is ego. One would always want everyone else to believe the same as what he/she does. (Just a passing thought - is that reason why I blog?) We pass on our religious beliefs over generations. (Is that how every religion started - one person started believing something and was smart enough to make everyone believe in it and that passed over generations?) Our lives are too short and not all of us are so equipped as to build thories from scratch that compare with what already exist. Some of us try. Most of us accept what we are told. But almost all of us question it, either openly to the world, or to ourselves. We understand logic. So ignorance makes us uncomfortable. We feel weak, and ask God to make us strong. We fear to go against His wishes which are laid down as sets of rules. Those sets of rules are what we understand by religion. It's not belief any more. But why does every concept of God come with a set of teachings and rules that one should follow? Why does every religion teach a way of leading one's life?

Perhaps religion, the sets of rules as we see it today, is just law of the old times. We've replaced it with new laws for all practical purposes. And as we progressed to create new laws to govern ourselves in the changed times, we also made great progress in terms of knowledge about the universe and ourselves. However, this knowledge hardly contributed in a positive way to the concept of God - the Creator. And because the law of the old times is so closely associated with its concept of God, we are never able to fully pull ourselves out of it. God, perhaps, is the least understood and yet the most influential thought of Man Kind. And may be, the true "God" is something we have never even imagined. It is hard to know what colors are, if you are totally blind. All you can see is darkness.

Eragon at E-Square!!!

It was a once-in-a-lifetime movie show. Few movie shows get this interesting. It was the 8.30 PM show of Eragon this Saturday (14-April-2007) at E-Square, Pune. I went there with my friends: Jitender, More and Chhoton - the Chhota Don!

As usual, I started my "Chalo Movie Chalte Hain" fight on Saturday, around "shaam-ke" types. Jeetu, More, Mac (a.k.a. Macchar) and I had a Yahoo Messenger chat conference to discuss about it. More wanted to get emotional and so wanted to go for a senti movie. The available options were - Persuit of Happiness, Eragon, Bandidas and Bheja Fry. More wanted Persuit of Happiness. I also. Jeetu wanted Bandidas, coz it had female Daakoos. Mac wanted to study, and so refused to come for movie. I suggested Bheja Fry also coz it had good artists and was also a Hindi Movie - so that we could understand it also besides watching. Chhoton was not available for chat. So his opinion was not known. But I knew he wud never agree for Persuit of Happiness. He is more of the Eragon kind, just like Jeetu is the Bandidas kind.

We reached the hall at around 7.30 PM. Persuit of Happiness was at 7.30 and Eragon was at 8.30. Jeetu and Chhoton expressed reluctance to go for Persuit of Happiness. So More and I compromised and agreed for Eragon, whose show was at 8.30 PM. I rejected Jeetu's idea of Bandidas, and luckily he didn't find any support. So Eragon at 8.30 was finalized and we bought the tickets.

We spent the one hour we had till the show by eating something and watching gals and getting sad about not having any with us, as usual. Chhoton almost cried when he saw one Aunty and Uncle making love in a corner...

The movie was at Screen-4. The entrance to the hall was opened pretty early - almost 15 minutes before the show. This does not normally happen. Like most people do before the movie starts, we all went to the toilet and did susu. Then we entered the hall and sat on our seats. Ours were the last 4 seats in the 3rd row from the top. More, I, Chhoton, Jeetu - we sat in this order starting from the end of the row. Jeetu was hoping a gal would come and sit by his side. But before long a guy came with his girl-friend. He himself sat by Jeetu's side and made the gal sit next to him. Jeetu was visibly disappointed. More discovered that the hand-rest (or whatever u call it...that separates 2 seats, you can keep your hands on it, and it has a hole for the pop-corn thing and cold-drinks) between the first 2 seats of a row, perhaps on both sides of it, could be turned upwards and gotten rid of. The rest were rigid. We understood why couples prefer corner seats, i.e., Kone Waali Seat - coz they are more convenient for Pappi Jappi in the absence of the seperator.

The movie started. It went on pretty smoothly till the interval. There was a dragon that came out of an egg...a boy whom the dragon chose to be it's rider. There was a bad guy. And he had to be killed.

Since Englis movies don't have an "Intermission" defined beforehand, they are stopped at some arbit point, followed by a transparency saying that it's the Interval and now you can go out and come back with pop-corn. Chhoton also went out and came back with caramel flavoured pop-corn. I had never tried it before. I liked the flavour.

The movie resumed. And now started the commedy of errors. Whoever was playing the reel played it from some other arbit point. A considerable part was skipped, and I am sure even guys could figure that out, coz everyone in my group did. And, believe me, we only know litil litil Englis, like all other guys. Still we knew something was missed. Coz one guy in the movie, who was helping the hero Eragon, was fit and strong before the interval. But after the interval, he was dying...for no reason.

Everyone in the hall seemed to have ignored the missing scene, as is common in India, and continued watching the movie. I think it's an amazing level of smartness and maturity that we possess. We try to fill all the gaps by assuming whatever comes to our minds and go ahead with the movie, without bothering too much about silly things. Afterall, how does it matter if the guy was dying because the villain stabbed him or because he had a curse from some Rishi-Muni in his previous birth?

However, not all of us are that smart. About 30 minutes after the interval, just when Eragon was killing the villain by stabbing him in his heart, the movie was turned off. I guess it would have taken just 15-20 minutes more, without cuts, for the movie to complete. A guy wearing a tie came inside the hall from the rear entrance, stood in front and shouted - "There was a scene that was missed soon after the Interval. I apologize for that. I am going to rewind the movie and play if from where we stopped at the Interval." Most of us in the hall were totally taken by surprize at whatever was happening. What he meant was that he was going to play the entire thing from where he left at the Interval. We had already seen 30 mins of that part. So essentially, all that was going to be repeated along with the 3-4 minutes of whatever that was skipped. This was ridiculous. I shouted - "Yaar, play only the part that was missed". But he ran away. The ladies sitting in the row behind ours looked at me and smiled. I Shabasshhed myself.

Before we could wonder much about who the hell requested for the repeat, 2 gals came inside talking loudly so that everyone listened - "How could he cut the scene like that? I told him - repeat or give my money back!!!" - and gave all the saas-bahu tu-tu-mai-mai fighting-against-injustice gestures and expressions all in one go.

Repeating the entire part was logical from those girls' point of view, coz while they were fighting against insjustice, they must have lost some part of the movie. So, the movie started again, from the point where it was stopped for the Interval.

It was fun watching all that again. We started testing our memories by trying to recall the dialogs. I could recall a few, and uttered them loud just before they were said in the movie...to impress the back row chicks. They giggled on a few occasions.

But as we were enjoying watching this part of the movie the second time, we could hear noises coming from the rear entrance of the hall. There were 2 guys fighting with the Manager. This time, the reason as I could hear them shout was - "Why the hell should we be made to watch the movie second time? Our time is getting wasted." The guys were really shouting loud and were creating an awkward scene for the Manager, in front of those waiting outside for the next movie on our screen, and on the adjacent screens. The movie was almost at the point where we had stopped the first time for a rewind. And lo, it was stopped again. Everyone was confused. Someone said we were going to get a refund, and the show was over.

Amidst all this confusion, the girl who faught against injustice went out again and came back with 2 security guards. She told them her seat number. It was somewhere in the middle of a row that was 2 rows in front of us. The guards asked everyone to make way, went straight to the seat she mentioned and checked for something under it. I shouted - "Is that a cockroach?" Some laughed. The gaurds said there was nothing. The girl was embarrassed. She said "it" was right there. I wondered what they were talking about. Nobody had a clue, except that gal and the guards.

And now, everyone started moving out of the hall. The Manager announced that we could get a refund by showing our tickets. I felt bad. I wanted the movie to be played till the end. I shouted - "Why don't we stay back and make them play the movie till the end." At this, one lady said - "No No, the kids have to go to bed", gently pushing her kid to move out. I said - "Ok then" and we also moved out.

We went straight to the ticket counter to collect our refunds. As we were wondering what was under that girl's seat, the lady whose kid had to go to bed started doing ui maa ui maa. She had left her tickets in the pop-corn's thing. And by that time, the housekeeping staff must have taken all that and threw away as trash. She was denied the refund coz she couldn't produce the tickets. We went to help her as true gentlemen. We told the cinema-hall-staff giving the refunds that she was there in the hall, we had seen her, etc etc. One guy who was the Manager started arguing with us that one should always keep his/her tickets till the end. Well that was true, but then I said "It happens, sometimes people lose...Imagine, it also happens that shows are stopped in the middle and people given refunds." At this, the Manager got senti and angry at the same time. He started explaining how some guys had threatened to shout in the hall if the movie was not stopped and refunds not done, coz their "time" was getting wasted. I had no good reply for this. Probably he had no better option. I just said "Ultimately people who stay calm like us suffer." He said "Sorry." I guess that settled it.

Meanwhile the lady got the refund. She shouted a small "thanks", which none of my friends heard, and went away. We got our bikes from the parking, and went back home.

Inequality of Income in India

These BSchool Grads are earning lot lot money. One person offered more than crore per month. Udi Baba! What will he do to deserve that much? I don't know. I earn one thirtieth of that amount. That is, (= i.e.,) his salary divided by 30, and that amount approximately. And I often think what I do ever, I mean what ever I do, I not deserve my salary. That man also got 24 hour in day. Woman also same case. Work that person do only 8-9 hour. Per hour that person (bole to he/she) earn more than 3000 rupees. Again Udi Baba! This is ridiculous. So much for decision making, which assistant make...haha...and not even every hour...most time spent on hifi chatter boxing...And other incentive also they get...like sexy secratry or secratraa...for timepassing.

Salary normalization must be there na...isn't it? Hugely huge inequality of income in this country. Look farmer suiciding becoz not getting enough to eat and feed family and cow. And this MBA getting more than crore, plus secratry. Something wrong with model, in first place...and second place also...problem with capitalism...it success in poor country only at the cost of poor people...poor becoming poorer, rich richer...and middle income also get richer...finally poor wiped out, and country is all rich...but that is not the right way to grow na...it is like telling poor people ki u r burden on country, we not need you...but the fact is, they are poor becoz the rich deprive them of resources for their own benefit and to improve their own standard of living and dying...

When I was small, I read in book - Inequality of income is bad and is problem in India. Now it is getting bigger Seriouser problem. Solve how? By more responsible economic desicions by Corporates and Govt at the same time. 9% GDP growth is like growth in heap of shit if only small segment of population enjoying its benefits and large poor people still poor and poorer. Growth is inevitable. But we need to grow in right manner. It is easy to get carried away at this stage by sheer numbers. But unless we interpret them the way they ought to be, they drift us in wrong wrong directions.

TaTa Bye Bye Kuchi Kuchi

We know and understand so little of the Universe, and what we do is actually just by a few individuals, who take pains to document all gathered knowledge for people who care, and are capable enough, to go through, validate and think further. And so the knowledge passes over ages. It's funny the way the creator created all this apparently mathematical universe and dropped us on a small round body called the earth (by us) to spend our time trying to figure things out, trying to know the reality. It's possible that somewhere else there are people who've discovered some other realities which are still hidden to us. I often feel that the 'reality', per sé, can't be so complicated. I was trying to discuss this the other day with Laajo. She is a Physics professor at Raapchaandoos Institute of Technology, Bilaspur. As always, she said 'stupid', slapped gently on my face, wore her chunni, said 'TaTa Bye Bye Kuchi Kuchi', and left for her lecture.

Happy Birthday To Me!

I've become 25 years old today. It cannot be considered an achievement since time passes on its own and we keep growing. As I look back, I find my 25 years full of experiences of many kinds. I regret some of my actions. And there are many things I feel happy about. I applaud myself for many of my choices. And there are a few I curse myself for and I guess I will keep doing that all my life, unless memory fails me. I am lucky to have been gifted with some of the best people to share my life with. I am grateful to whoever conceived and created this beautiful setting for my "Life".

I've come a long way since those simple childhood days. And yet, a closer look at myself reveals that it's not really that long a way. In fact, I am still where I have always been. And I will always be right there...right here. But something has changed.

Life is like a game where you have to keep walking. Choose your directions at each step and keep moving. There is no option to stop. At each step, you get a new mask. Wear it over the old ones if you feel like. We grow thick layers of masks as we walk into darkness, under faint spot-lights lighting each one of us. There is no destination, there is no goal. Throughout our lives we try to run away from death, live best hoping that we can manage to evade it by our cleverness and trickery. Though it's ironical that the best is often close to the worst.

There was a time when I was so small that everyone else around me seemed very big. I used to stick my face against the metal frame of the closed iron gate which served as entrance to my house, to look outside. Everyone else in my family was tall enough to see from above the gate. I was allowed a limited view of the world outside. I kept growing, and one day I was also tall enough. The gate ceased to be a barrier. I could see the world without obstructions. I also grew smart with time. I learnt to open the gate. One day, I walked out of it right into the world I was shielded from. The world which I had always wondered about. And as the world unfolds itself to me, I find fewer things in it that tickle my childish mind.

The first of the free airs that I breathed choked my lungs. It had dust, it had dirt, it smelt bad, it burnt my insides. I could see it if I tried hard enough. But its ability to kill was equalled, perhaps outdone, by an amazing ability to keep one alive, and breathing. With time, it made me fall in love with it. I've started enjoying the murkiness it induces to my vision. I cannot see far - the air doesn't allow me to. I want to walk slow, taking small steps, knowing where I am going. But there is a rush. One gets pushed or crushed. I prefer the former, it keeps me alive. We all move fast, carried away in the hungry tide of people. Not to a shore, there is no shore.

I hope, some day, when I can see my feet again, when I can bend down and run my fingers gently on my toe, when I can see the world with all its myriad colors, and wonder - where lies my destination, when I breathe the scent of freshness in the mysterious tranquility of the air, I will be born again, thence to live till eternity.